“It was an eye-opening experience to be able to watch you. You’re so talented. You should be up on a stage performing with a company.”
“Maybe once upon a time, but that ship has sailed. I’ve moved on. Besides, I’m too old and I’ve been out too long.There are too many talented teens to compete against for too few jobs.”
“You’re only twenty-six. That’s not old.”
“It is in the ballet world. Younger is always better.” I squeeze his hand and rest my head on his shoulder. “But thank you for saying so.”
“Are careers really over that quickly?”
“Unfortunately, yes.”
“Hearing that makes me worry about my sisters Sarah and Celine.” He sighs. “They both have big ambitions. Sarah dreams about going to the Olympics, then doing gymnastics at uni in America. Based on what her coaches are always saying, I think that dream could be well within her reach.”
“And Celine?” I ask.
“She’s been begging me to move her to a more serious dance school. She spoke about it the entire time she was here. She wants to dance professionally.”
“And what do your parents have to say about it?”
Sam shimmies uncomfortably. “They’re not in the picture. My sisters are my responsibility.”
I wince sharply. I couldn’t have asked a worse question. Things were going so well until now. “I’m sorry I said anything. Forget I asked.”
Sixteen
“You couldn’t have known.” We stop walking. Sam drops my hands and rubs the back of his neck. “And it probably would’ve come up sooner or later between us. Sarah and Celine are technically my half-sisters by my mum.”
The lightness from a few minutes ago has evaporated, replaced by an air of heaviness. Sam’s eyes have dulled, and he suddenly seems weary, making him appear older than he actually is.
“Sam, if you aren’t comfortable sharing, it’s okay. I understand and I respect your privacy.”
“That’s exactly why I don’t mind telling you.” His Adam’s apple constricts. “My parents divorced when I was ten. Mum remarried and the girls came along a couple years later. Unfortunately, just like with my dad, Mum wasn’t a good match in personality or temperament for Sarah and Celine’s father. When she divorced him, things turned messy. They were so caught up in their own fights and blaming one another for their problems that they lost sight of their most important job—being parents.”
I cringe. Messy must be putting it lightly. “Poor Sarah and Celine.”
Sam nods. “It was rough. At the time, they were so young. Sarah was nine and Celine was seven. Sarah would text me that she was scared because of all the shouting. She and Celine would hide in the closet thinking that they’d done something wrong. They’d stay in there for hours, until they thought it was safe to come out.”
My hand flies to my mouth. No child should ever have to go through a situation like that.
“I couldn’t stand for my sisters to be in such an unstable environment. So I stepped up and offered to become their guardian. The sad thing is that Mum and Sarah and Celine’s dad couldn’t wait for them to move in with me. The only thing they could agree on was that neither one of them were fit parents.”
“Oh, Sam.” My heart swells. “That must’ve been a lot to take on.”
“It was. In the first few days Sarah and Celine were with me, I didn’t know if I could do it. I’d just turned twenty and wasn’t used to being an adult. I had no experience in anything related to parenting, let alone raising two girls.”
I think about how Sam was placed in such a difficult situation. If our positions had been reversed, I don’t think I could’ve handled something like that at twenty. He would’ve had to learn how to do all the things that come with being an adult quickly. What did he have to sacrifice? Did he have his own dreams that he had to give up?
“How did you manage?”
“I had my dad to ask advice from. He wasn’t too keen on me becoming their guardian at first, but eventually, he came around. Now, he’s a surrogate grandad tothem. He watches the girls when they’re on half-term or other breaks and I’m not available.”
“That says a lot about the type of person you are.” My voice cracks.
“I love Sarah and Celine. They’re the only sisters I have. They needed to know that they had a protector and a person who loves them.” He shoves his hands into his pockets. “I couldn’t let them get lost in the chaos. I’d do it again in a heartbeat if I had to. They deserve the world.”
“Not just Sarah and Celine.” I brush my hand against his cheek. His skin is rough with stubble. He slowly raises his head. “You deserve the world too.”
I trace his lips with my thumb. Rising up onto my toes, I give him a soft, gentle kiss. Right now isn’t the right moment to share the type of kiss that sets fire to your belly. In this moment, Sam needs the type of love that’s offered by a family. The type of kiss that makes him feel that he’s not alone.
