“Sunday.”
“Brilliant. Use Sunday as your reward. Tell yourself that you need to get one sketch done so you can completely forget about this commission for a few hours. Don’t sacrifice your relationship with him when it’s so new and you two are getting on well.”
I know she’s right. The pre-Sam me would push every distraction aside and focus solely on the work in front of me. When I danced with LABT that was exactly what we were expected to do—devote ourselves completely to dance. When I lost it all, I had nothing left. I don’t want history to repeat itself.
“Okay, you win. I won’t cancel the date.”
“Good. Now talk me through what you’re thinking.”
I walk into my bedroom and retrieve my notepad. It’sstill open to the page with my portrait of Sam’s face. I stare into his eyes and see a glint of determination in them. If he can balance a demanding career, like the army and dating me, I can meet him halfway and do the same. I turn to an empty page and begin jotting down a few notes as I reenter the living room.
“Clarissa Lee’s earliest work uses a lot of floral and plant motifs. I’m thinking maybe I’ll incorporate that into the design.”
“Uh-huh. What else?” Liz says.
I think back to the more recent collections Clarissa has released. “She’s done things with sea life, jewels, and the jungle.”
“Well, those are good, but they’re her work, not your aesthetic. Remember not to lose yourself in your work. You need to find a way to meld the two of you into one. What areyoudrawn to?”
“Vintage silhouettes. Impressionism.”
“So there’s your answer. Start with looking at photos of vintage wedding dresses on a website like Pinterest. Create a mood board to curate your ideas.”
“Maybe there are some reference photos in the School of Fashion’s archives. I’ll make an appointment to talk to the archivist tomorrow.”
“There you go.”
I jot down a few more ideas:
-Reference photos in the British Library collection.
-Check what’s on at the V and A.
-Antique market for vintage patterns and books.
Satisfied, I wrap up my call with Liz, then spend the remainder of the night looking up SearchTube videos with contemporary bridal collections. I need to see the competitionand what I’m up against. Last season, it was sheer corset dresses; this season, it seems to be boatnecks.
I wonder what Clarissa prefers. She’s always in a one-shoulder dress at her shows. Would she want something similar? And what about the Chinese gowns? I have no idea what those look like. I guess I have a lot more research ahead of me than I thought! It’s going to be a long night.
I spendall of Tuesday and Wednesday running all around the city, seeking out anything I think will help me sketch, but instead, my mind is blank. All the creative energy I usually have is missing. I’m frustrated. Nothing I do is right. My recycle bin is overflowing with crumpled sheets of paper. I’m resting my head on my knee when my phone vibrates.
Sam
Hey, Min, how’s it going?
Min
Not good.
Sam
*Frowning emoji*
I snap a photo of the mess I’ve made on the floor and text it to him.
Sam
Are you free for a video chat?
