I was jealous when he spent time with his sisters, but seeing him with Celine has reminded me that he is their caretaker. Their surrogate father. He puts them first without hesitation, as he should.
Sam and I don’t have the same level of relationship as he has with his sisters. But I find myself hoping that in time, this may change. I never told him how frustrated I was feeling. As talented a magician as he is, he can’t perform telepathy.
“When I get back to London, before I return to the barracks, can you and I take some time to talk? Or if you can’t, name your time and place and I’llensureI’m there.” He pulls me tighter to him. “Min, you’re important to me. I want you to understand that I’ll do whatever it takes to fix my screwups. I want to be in your life, and I’ll do whatever it takes to stay there.”
“I have a long day ahead of me. If I’m in the right head space, we can talk tonight. If not, it will be after Friday.” I unwrap myself from him. “Take my bed, Sam. I’ll be up for a few hours.” I don’t give him time to argue and push him toward my room. “Good night, Sam I am.”
“Good night, Fashion Guru.”
Twenty-Five
Istudy my tablet. Sam’s face stares back at me, but something isn’t quite right. I can’t put my finger on what it is. I pinch my fingers over the screen and study the shading.
“Is it the jawline? The cheekbones? Hmm. . .” I mutter to myself. “This is why I don’t draw guys. At least the horse looks right.”
“If you ask me, it looks good. You just need more practice,” Sam’s gruff voice mumbles into my ear.
I turn my head. Sam leans over the couch and plants a soft kiss on my forehead. “You’re up early. Couldn’t sleep any longer?”
“No. My body is hardwired to wake up at five.”
I move the blanket off my legs, stand, and stretch. “Do you want a shower? I think I have a shirt and some basketball shorts that’ll fit you.”
“Should I be worried you have men’s clothing sitting around your house?”
“Nope. I buy men’s shirts and shorts for pajamas. They’re cheaper and comfier.”
“Ah. As amazing as a hot shower would be, I think I’ll pass. If you don’t mind, what I’d like to do is run back to the barracks, take care of a few things, then come back for Celine. I doubt she’ll be up before nine or ten. I’ll be back before you have to leave for work.”
“Of course.” I enter the kitchen and locate a coffee mug. “Coffee for the road? I made a fresh pot.”
“That’s an offer I will take you up on.” He grins. “What time do you need to head out to work?”
“The latest I can swing is nine.”
Sam nods in confirmation. “I’ll be back well before that.” He rubs the back of his neck. A light pink blush creeps over his cheeks. “Can you write down what clothes and sizes Celine might need? I’ll also pop into M and S when it opens and see if I can pick up some basics for her.”
“Celine’s about my size. She can borrow from me when she wakes up.”
“Is that all right? You’ve already done so much for us.”
“I wouldn’t offer if it wasn’t.”
“If there is anything I can do to repay your hospitality, please let me know.”
“Well, there is one thing.”
“Yes?”
“That beard. It needs to go. It hides your handsome jawline and it scratches horribly when you kiss me.”
“Celine said something similar. She hates it too.” He rubs a hand over his jaw. “I probably shouldn’t have let it go so long. I’ve been too lazy to shave. It’ll be gone when I return.”
We spend a few more minutes chatting, then I send him on his way. My flat is back to being quiet and all I hear is the sound of traffic on the street below. My limbs ache. I’m beginning to feel the effects of sitting on thecouch sketching for the last few hours. My eyes rake over the apartment.
I could watch TV, continue to draw, or cook, but I think my heart is set on doing a light barre. I need to clear my mind. I slide the carpet and coffee table out of the center of the living room to the side and move my portable barre in their place. This has to be one of the best purchases of the year. I don’t know why I waited so long to pull the trigger and order it.
I locate my soft slippers, shove my earbuds into my ears, and crank up the classical music. I imagine my legs spiraling from my hips, pull up in my spine, and focus on slow, controlled breaths as I warm up with some basic pliés.
