“Hmm, we can’t have that.” I hear the rustling of fabric. “You obviously don’t have a coat, so put this on.”
“Are we really going out?”
“Yes.”
“Where? Aren’t all the shops closed?”
“Probably, but we’re not going to a shop.”
“Oh. Where are you taking me?”
“To a friend’s flat.”
“Whatkindof a friend?”Celine sniggers.
“A girlfriend,” Sam admits. “I mean, er, a girl who is a friend.”
“You’re lying. Otherwise, your face wouldn’t be turning bright red. She’s more than friend, isn’t she!” Her voice is laced with excitement.
I chuckle to myself.
“I’ve never been able to keep secrets from you and your sister,” he grumbles. “You two pick up on everything.”
“I knew it!” she boasts. “What’s her name? Why didn’t tell Sarah and me? Do you think she’ll like us?”
“Celine, calm down.” Sam sighs. “Minerva. Because you two can’t keep secrets. And yes, she’ll love you.”
“Have you kissed?”
“So many questions, but if it keeps you talking, then I suppose I’ll just have to keep answering them.”
“I can’t help it,” Celine whines. “You’ve never had a girlfriend before. I’m curious.”
“I have too. You and Sarah have never picked up on it. You were too young.”
“Why are you telling me now?”
“Because Minerva is special. You’re going to fall in love her just like I am.”
“You’re falling in love her?”
“I am.” His voice becomes so low that I almost miss hearing him add, “I didn’t know how much until I mucked everything up.”
I fall back against the couch. He loves me? My heart flutters. It’s like whipping out a sequence of thirty-two fouettés. I must’ve missed all the signs, because from the way he’s been acting recently, it doesn’t seem like love to me.
“Brother, what did you do?”
“I was a stupid-head as you like to say.”
“I haven’t said that since I was like eight years old!”
I disconnect from the call. I don’t want him to know that I’ve heard him just admit to his sister he loves me. My gaze travels around the room to the chocolate box and bouquet of blue and purple hyacinths. Do I feel the same way about him?
I close my eyes and relive some of the dates and outings we’ve been on. I see dinner at pub, making pancakes with him, seeing him perform magic at the Tank, touring the stables, and the rooftop kiss. I recall when I butt dialed him and wasn’t sure about taking a ballet class and how he jumped into a taxi to meet me as the combat ballerina. In each of these instances, when we were together, we had good chemistry. Every time I saw his face, I’d smile, and my body would be consumed with excitement.
Going back to more recent events, however, I’m reminded by the fact that the little time we’ve been able to spend together has been rather one-sided. Sam’s become forgetful and has let his work become his top priority. I wassick and tired of being second fiddle. I snapped and told him exactly how I felt before cutting him off.
Tonight, my head is clearer. I realize that I reacted in a way that wasn’t fair to Sam. I should’ve told him how I’ve been feeling all along instead of holding everything in. When Sam called me tonight, my heart yearned to be there for him. I still feel a strong pull toward him and like him. A lot. But I don’t know if those feelings are strong enough to be considered love.
