“She has a fuckingstab wound,” Kallias spat. “I only took her stitches out yesterday. Of course she’s not fit to fight!”
“Kallias!” Lea yelled again, to no effect.
Lucullus’s gaze grew steely. “You’re very lucky I know who employs you, medicus, because if it were anyone else, you’d think twice before speaking to me in such a manner.”
Lea grabbed the closest thing at hand—her terracotta cup half-full of water—and hurled it at Kallias. It struck him squarely in the chest, splashing water over his tunic. He yelped and stumbled back. The cup clattered to the ground and smashed.
Finally, he looked at her—really looked at her, for longer than a moment.
“I told Lucullus I wanted to fight,” she said, words clipped as she uttered her confession. “I insisted on it.”I lied to you.
Kallias blinked, looking as dumbfounded as if she’d started speaking Gaulish. His mouth opened and closed.
Lucullus leveled his chin at Kallias. “Now that you have an accurate understanding of the situation, I’d thank you to leave my gladiators alone.” He held out an arm toward the exit.
Kallias cast one thorny, confused glance at Lea, then turned away and left. Lea watched him go, wishing she were strong enough to chase after him. Her insides twisted with guilt.
Despite what happened between them yesterday, she hadn’t expected him tocareso much. To come back here and harangue her manager for, in his mind, mistreating her.
But he did care. And she’d repaid his care by lying to him.
19
OnceLearegainedsomeof her strength, she returned to the ludus, where she washed, changed clothes, and ate. She longed to visit the baths, but the women’s bathing hours were in the morning, so that would have to wait. As the day waned, she held out a brief hope that Kallias might come see her, give her a chance to explain.
She’d made a mistake by lying to him. A week ago, she could have told herself it didn’t matter, that she’d simply done what was best for herself. But the intimacy they’d shared cast everything in a new light. Something was growing between them, something strange and new and fragile, and her deception may well have crushed it beneath her heel.
Maybe it’s for the best that way, an insidious voice inside her suggested.You don’t belong with him.
No. Somehow, this thing between her and Kallias had grown past the point she could walk away. He’d wrapped himself around her, like ivy claiming a structure, and she didn’t think she could tear herself free without damaging them both.
When the day’s matches finished, Lucullus delivered her winnings—one thousand sestertii. She stowed the coins with the rest of her money, eyeing the stash regretfully. This set of games wasabout to end, and today had been her last scheduled match. She still had a long way to go to earn the forty thousand she needed.
Kallias made no appearance. It didn’t surprise her, despite her hope. She’d seen the hurt on his face when he realized she’d lied to him. That expression haunted her, spurring her to toss and turn all night.
She couldn’t help thinking of Hector. They had always been scrupulously truthful with each other. If he were here now—if he knew she’d lied to a man she cared about—he’d probably throw a pillow at her and say something like“Why the fuck are you still here? Go apologize to him, you bloody idiot.”
When morning arrived, she made a decision. If Kallias wouldn’t come to her, she’d go to him. She had to make this right—had to explain why she’d lied and hope he would forgive her.
After a trip to the baths, which she couldn’t even properly enjoy because of how guilty she felt, Lea spent the day resting and stretching her sore muscles. When twilight fell, she donned a cloak and left the ludus. She made her way to the imperial palace, where she circled around the outside of the walled complex. She’d noticed in her prior visits that the guards were concentrated at the entrances, which left most of the perimeter unmonitored.
Lea found a stretch of wall at the back that bordered an empty street. She wasn’t sure what part of the palace was on the other side of the wall, but she hoped it was an area used by the staff.
Lea approached the wall, finding a patch of crumbling stone which provided useful holds for her hands and feet. She cast a quick glance up and down the street, then hoisted herself up.
She was halfway up the wall when she realized: if Kallias was angry that she’d fought with an injured arm, he probably wouldn’t be pleased that she’d scaled a wall either.
Well, it was too late for regrets. She climbed quickly, swung her legs over the top, then dropped. Her feet hit a patch of dirt. She cast her gaze around the shadowy space. It appeared to be a garden, but not a decorative one. She spotted rows of herb bushes and vegetable plantings, along with a few fruit trees further away.
This must be the kitchen garden—blissfully empty at this hour.
Across the expanse of neat dirt rows, light spilled from behind a door. Lea walked toward it, found it unlocked, and entered a small room crowded with gardening tools. Beyond was a hallway. She removed her cloak, bundling it into her hands, and walked down the corridor with as much confidence as she could muster. A few people passed her as she proceeded further into the building. She increased her pace, as if she were a servant on an urgent errand, and no one stopped her.
Lea wound through the hallways until she found something that looked familiar from her last visit—the passage that led to Kallias’s office and bedroom. She turned down it and soon stood outside the door to his office.
She heard nothing from within, but light flickered. Good: he was there, but alone. His eager assistant must have gone home for the day by now.
Lea tapped on the door.
