“It’s not from me,” Kallias clarified. “It’s from the emperor.”
Lea paused, just about to undo the fabric wrapping. “What do you mean, it’s from the emperor?”
“Exactly what I said,” he replied. “I imagine it’s meant to be an apology for the misunderstanding the other day.”
“Misunderstanding?” Lea spat.
“I told you, his moods are…variable.”
Variable. More like erratic. She unwrapped the gift. Her breath caught when she beheld the items: a pair of greaves for her arms, richly tooled, the swirling pattern embossed with gold paint. They’d look very fine in the arena with the sunlight catching on the gold, but she refused to allow herself to enjoy them. This gift, however generous, wouldn’t make her forgive him.
“I suppose you should tell him thank you, from me,” she finally said.
“That would be the polite thing. I’d advise you to wear them for your next match, whenever that may be.”
“At least they’re not from you,” she muttered. “I’d never hear the end of it.”
He cocked his head. “What do you mean?”
“Your last gifts caused quite a stir. My friends were convinced they were fuck-me gifts. Or something like that.”
Kallias snorted. “I would have gotten you something nicer than glass beads if I were trying to entice you into my bed.”
“Good to know,” Lea said drily.
“You did look very nice wearing my gifts, but…” His gaze ran over her body, still naked, and a covetous gleam lit his eyes. “I prefer the way you look right now.”
His words made her flush, but as she glanced down at the greaves, a nagging sense of wrongness intruded on her goodmood. The greaves were a reminder of the gulf between them: she was bound to a life of fighting, while he was at the beck and call of the volatile emperor.
Bedding him was supposed to have been a simple distraction from her anxiety about fighting tomorrow. Yet somehow, he’d beguiled her into dropping her guard and revealing her deepest desires—the things she’d discovered in the course of her liaisons with Hector. Her former bed-partner had helped her understand how it thrilled her to choose when and how and to whom to cede control of her body, and even that she craved the sting of pain.
In her life, Lea had suffered more than her fair share of pain, and most of it had been decidedly unpleasant. There was something strangely soothing, though, about being able to experience pain on her own terms. It became something she could hold in her hands, mold into whatever shape she wanted, rather than something that could overpower her.
“When shall I return?” Kallias asked as he secured the flap on his satchel.
Lea hesitated. She wanted to see him again—wanted more of what they’d just shared—but agreeing to that would turn this onetime pleasure into…something else.
Her uncertainty must have shown on her face. “To check on your arm,” he added smoothly.
A medical visit was easier to agree to. “Friday?”
“Good.” He leaned down to kiss her, and she tilted her face so his lips met her forehead instead of her mouth. With a murmured goodbye, he left.
Fresh guilt joined her misgivings about seeing him again. She wasn’t sure if he’d evenwantto see her when he discovered she’dlied to him. After the intimacy they’d shared, it seemed like an even greater breach to keep this secret from him.
Maybe she should have confessed. But it would only cause an argument, and nothing he said would change her mind about fighting tomorrow. The games would be over in a matter of days, and she wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to gain another gift of prize money. That was more important than anything—even Kallias.
18
Kalliasidlyswepthisgaze over the arena’s packed stands in a lull between matches. The games held little interest for him, and he couldn’t help cataloguing all the better ways he could have spent his time if he’d been allowed to remain behind at the palace.
But the emperor wanted him here, so here he was.
Kallias sat a few rows behind Gaius and Drusilla, who chatted amiably as servants refilled their wine and offered them a variety of snacks from a gleaming silver platter. Elsewhere in the stands, food sellers hawked skewers of roasted meatballs, fried globi, and spiced nuts.
The noise of the crowd rose from a low rumble to a deafening roar as horns sounded, announcing the next match. The announcer was positioned right beside the emperor’s private seating area, so Kallias was one of the privileged few who could hear every word.
Even so, he was only half-listening, instead considering what remedy to try next for the palace maid with a persistent cough.
