“Of course I fucking liked it,” he snapped, raking a hand through his dark hair.
“Oh,” she breathed. It seemed inconceivable that someone like him—an imperial physician, cultivated and refined—would ever enjoy kissing someone like her. She let the pillow drop from her face. “Why did you stop, if you liked it?”
“Because I knew it was wrong. I knew you’d wake and be horrified if you realized what had happened. You probably feel bad enough knowing you kissed me.”
“I don’t feelbad,” she said. “It’s just…I’ve only kissed one other man.”Willingly, at least. “I don’t know how to feel that I’ve doubled that and I don’t even remember.”
“Only one man?” He looked surprised at that. Maybe he expected her to be sleeping her way through the ludus.
She nodded. “How many have you kissed?”
“Men? Three.”
She raised an eyebrow. “And women?”
“Four, I think. Not counting you.”
“Seven people?” She grinned. “You’ve been busy.”
He rolled his eyes, though there was a distinct smugness to his air. “Seven people in my whole life is not busy.”
“But you remember them all.” She frowned, struggling to sort through the tangle of thoughts and emotions this conversation was raising. She’d been repressing her physical desires since Hector’s death, and apparently all it took was one sprinkle of powdered dreamfish to lay everything bare.
Kallias had every opportunity to take advantage of her last night. He’d admitted he wanted her. Instead, he’d taken care of her. Kept her safe, even from herself.
Perhaps it was a low standard to hold a man to, but Lea’s past left her under no illusion of how low a man would stoop when he perceived someone to be helpless.
“I don’t like not remembering something like that,” she admitted. “It makes me feel…like I don’t know myself.”
“It was nothing.” His voice was soft, and his gaze held hers for only a moment before shifting away. “Please don’t distress yourself by dwelling on it.”
Her gaze traced the line of his jaw, shadowed with stubble, then settled on his lips—those sculpted, expressive lips which had somehow touched hers last night.
She wanted to know what they felt like. She had been so determined to stifle the part of herself that wanted such things after Hector’s death, not wanting to let herself get close to anyonein that way again. But two years had passed, and her restraint was crumbling.
“Can I kiss you, Kallias?” The words sounded like they were coming from very far away, yet she could feel her mouth moving to form them. “Again?”
His gaze shot to meet hers, and he went very still. Then he gave a short, jerky nod.
Lea slid a hand up his neck, drew his face close, and pressed her lips to his.
He gave a small shudder the moment their lips touched. Then his hands found her face, fingertips skimming her jaw, as he returned the kiss. Heat licked over her skin, washing downward to settle in a throbbing cluster between her legs.
If this was how it had been last night, she wasverypeeved to have missed it.
His hand traced down her neck, tingles of pleasure sparking in its wake, then came to rest at the base of her throat. Long fingers splayed over her skin, his touch firm but not constricting. His other hand slid into her hair, fingers sifting through her loosened locks. She liked the confidence she sensed behind his touch; she might not have expected it from him, as his outward manner was so reserved. If he tightened his fingers just a little…
The thought of him pulling her hair made all her long-suppressed desire burst into flame, burning her mind clean of anything but need. She scrambled into his lap, needing him closer,closer. Her thighs clasped his hips, and she gave a pleased shiver as she felt the growing thrust of his arousal between them.
He tore his mouth from hers with a gasp as she moved against him. “Lea,” he groaned. “We shouldn’t…”
“Why?”
“Because—”
A noise from outside the bedroom made him go rigid—a nearby door opening and closing, footsteps on the stone floor. “Because my assistant is about to arrive,” Kallias hissed.
10
