The ground was hurtling up to meet him. The only thing he could hear was the rush of the wind, as if God had taken pity on him and muffled the sound of his own racing heart. The river was too close, but even that landing place would have been a blessing next to crashing into the mountain. A sudden gust of wind seemed to toy with his mortality, sending the gondola nearly perpendicular to the sagging envelope.
He’d wondered about that moment often enough, ever since he’d first challenged himself to fly. What would be his thoughts if he knew he was going to die? He’d been in difficult situations before, but none as risky as this. Would he feel regret? Yes—well, that was a question answered. And sorrow. He felt such acute sorrow that it startled him.
He didn’t want to be a ghost in Veronica’s life.
Damn it, he didn’t want to die.
Montgomery had disappeared.
The crowd surged forward as Elspeth pulled at her sleeve. Veronica shook it off. She saw Elspeth’s mouth moving, but couldn’t understand her words. A dull roaring noise flooded her ears, as words struck her like bricks.
“Falling.”
“Disaster.”
“Dead.”
The world began to slow, each separate movement taking place in air suddenly gone syrup-like and thick. She was oddly cold. Her hands felt frozen, the tips of her fingers without sensation. A curious fog slipped over her like a gray blanket.
Her thoughts were sluggish as if she were new to the process of thinking. She should join the others, but she couldn’t move. She should say something. How odd she’d lost the power of speech.
Mrs. Brody passed her. “I’ll get the basket, Lady Fairfax.” Yes, the basket. The basket Mrs. Brody used whenever one of the staff was ill or suffered an injury.
She closed her eyes, tried to remember to breathe. Breathing was necessary, wasn’t it? There, she was breathing again. She opened her eyes to find Elspeth looking at her oddly. The maid’s hand was on her arm. Aunt Lilly wouldn’t be pleased. A servant never touched an employer. It didn’t matter anymore.
I can’t do this again.
Had she said that aloud? She must have, since Elspeth was looking at her with sympathy. That was even worse, wasn’t it? Aunt Lilly would be lecturing her for laxity in dealing with the servants. Yet Aunt Lilly would be calling for her smelling salts about now.
Montgomery had fallen.
I can’t lose someone I love again.
She could not love Montgomery Fairfax. He was an annoying American who believed that nothing was quite as good as Virginia. He had a bad habit of keeping silent when most civil men would have spoken. He rarely revealed himself, and when he did, it was to expose a level of pain or anger she couldn’t reach.
Yet he’d introduced her to passion and accompanied her on every journey to bliss. She wanted him to touch her all the time, even when it was vastly improper. She thought about him constantly, blushing when alone, imagining their loving even when she was surrounded by others.
She could not love him, but she did.
He might be dead.
I can’t do this.
She couldn’t move. She was planted in the ground as firmly as the heather. The wind plucked at her hair, blowing tendrils across her face. Her heart, stubborn to the last, continued, one stolid beat at a time. She felt as if she were dying by degrees.
I can’t do this.
She couldn’t go to him. She could not kneel beside his broken body. She could not cradle his head on her lap and brush his thick black hair away from his beautiful face. She could not whisper last words to him, words of love she’d never said, never had the courage to say.
What had he said? Something about facing her fear. How could she do that?
Montgomery.
In the instant before impact, Montgomery’s thoughts went to Veronica. Not to his brothers or Caroline, but the woman who’d fascinated, amused, and charmed him since first meeting her at the Society of the Mercaii.
The wind carried the gondola, turning it over until he was almost tipped out. Just as he thought he was certain to be smashed into the side of the mountain, the gusts played with him again like a cat with a ball of yarn. The impact zone changed, suddenly. He was no longer facing a mountain but coming closer to the trees that surrounded Doncaster Hall.
He grinned. He might just escape disaster.
