“Look, you’ve got Priority,” I said. “You need to go.”
The firelight made Natalie’s cheeks as hollow as her eyes. They’d been that way ever since her Search team came back without Kevin.
When Natalie stayed silent, I tried a different tack. “Plus, it’ll give you something else to think about, eh?”
Natalie turned to me, shadows falling across her face. “You think going on Search will take my mind off Kevin?” She laughed, a lifeless sound. “It’s all I think about. Every minute of every day. How much I miss him, how much I want to be with him, how much I hope he made it. But if I go on Search, I might never know. And worse, what if I find—” Pressing her lips into a tight line, she shook her head.
“Okay,” I agreed, like I had any say in her choice. “But soon, Nat, okay? You won’t get anywhere sitting here.”
“I hear you,” Natalie said.
But are you listening?I thought.Because Nil sure as hell is.Surelythis was part of Nil’s fun. Watching veterans squirm as our days ran out, crowing as we lost time to indecision or, in Nat’s case, grief.
“Promise you’ll think about it?” I asked, using my gentlest big brother tone. “About going?”
Natalie lifted her haunted eyes to mine. “It’s all I think about.”
Don’t we all?I thought. The wind sliced through the trees, and I swear I heard Nil laugh.
Rives came over and gave Nat a silent hug, then sat on the rock beside her. No one had much to say, and within minutes Natalie stood.
“I’m out. See you guys in the morning. Another dawn, another day.” She didn’t even try to smile.
“Chin up, twin,” Rives said. “It’s not over till the fat lady sings.” He cupped his hand behind his ear, making an exaggerated show of listening. “Nope, don’t hear a thing.” Rives dropped his hand and grinned. “Definitely no singing.”
Nat looked at Rives, her eyes weary. “There are no fat ladies on Nil, you know that.” She squeezed his shoulder. “But thanks.”
“I hate this,” Rives said after Natalie walked away. He stared at the darkness where Natalie disappeared. “God, I hope Kevin made it. That’s a good girl right there.”
“I know.”
For a minute, we just sat there, watching flames cut into the night. A Nil cat, a tiny gray one I’d never seen before, rubbed against a fire-warmed rock, arching her back and purring. Cats were everywhere on Nil. Some harmless, some not. This one was so small I wondered if it was a native. Watching the cat, I thought of Burton. He’d been conspicuously absent since I’d dissed his dead bird offering. That random train of thought shot me straight back to Kevin, and the mental ride sucked.
Rives leaned back on his elbows and looked at the stars. “Do you ever get used to it?” he asked quietly. “The waiting?”
“Nope,” I said. “Sucks every time.”
Rives nodded. “That’s what I thought.”
That night, it took forever to fall asleep. I lay there, thinking about Kevin, and about Natalie. But mostly I thought about Nil.
Nil’s like that girl you spot in the lodge after a full day of kick-ass boarding, when you’re stoked and high on life. She looks good, freakin’ hot. Long hair, tight body, killer smile. Has a name like… Mallory.
But once you really get to know her, the truth rips your guts out. The truth is, she’s cruel. Heartless. The kind of girl who sleeps with your best friend when your back is turned. And once the mask falls off, so does the glamour. That’s the island of Nil in a nutshell. Blow-your-mind gorgeous, until you peel away the façade and see her for who she really is.
It wasn’t the first time I wondered what she had in store for me.
CHAPTER
7
CHARLEY
DAY 12, DAWN
I hadn’t slept in three days, and the mere thought of a coconut made me gag. I knew that if I could just eat some protein, I’d feel better—or at least not starve. So for the past few miserable hours, I’d been crafting a net from palm fronds.
I glanced at my net, decided it looked ridiculous, and kept weaving anyway.
