“I believe you,” I said. “But part of me says this can’t be happening. Literally, it’s like someone peeked inside my head and figured out my dream guy—and it’s you. It’s too perfect. Like it’s too good to be true.”
Emotion flickered in Thad’s eyes, like a ghost. “Don’t you see, Charley? That’s part of Nil’s fun.” He laughed, but it sounded choked. “That’s part of what I needed to get my head around this past week.The fact that I’d met the perfect girl, here, in the one place where there’s no future. Where the only given is that we can’t stay.” The pain in his voice was back.
“That’s why I stayed away from you, hoping it would change how I feel, but it didn’t. You were all I thought about. I always knew where you were, heard your voice in my head. I barely slept. And then I decided that even if Nil ripped my heart out and crushed it, I’d rather spend my remaining hours on Nil with you than without. With the girl who survived twelve days solo in Nil’s house of horrors, with the girl who channels MacGyver for a little island ingenuity, with the girl who makes me forget I have an expiration date even for just a minute. That’s you, Charley. And that’s why I’ve been killing myself to get the City ready to run without me.” He swallowed, hard. “Because I want to spend my last days here with you.”
Thad’s take was jaded and a little depressing, but I got what he was saying. But it was what he didn’t say that stood out the most. He’d chosen to hope, even if it hurt.
“I told you,” I whispered, reaching up and laying my palm gently against his chest, over his heart. “I’ve always wanted my very own island guide.”
Thad grinned, his lazy smile that made me melt, and lowering his head, he kissed me. This kiss wasn’t crushing; it was tender and sweet, and full of so much pain that my chest ached in response, because like Thad said, if we had a future, it sure wasn’t here.
CHAPTER
30
THAD
DAY 290, TWILIGHT
Charley insisted on carrying one net; I carried two. But it was the fit of her hand in mine that made me feel like shouting, that and the taste of her on my lips.
Made-to-order perfection, I thought. Dropping my nets, I kissed her again, cupping her face in my hands. Despite knowing we needed to get back, it was nearly impossible to stop. She looked as dazed as I felt.
“Wow,” she breathed, opening her eyes slowly. “I could get used to this.”
“Me too.” I whispered, my lips inches from hers, my thumbs caressing her jaw. “Clearly being an island guide has its perks. I’m going to incorporate lots of this”—I brushed her lips with mine—“into our schedule.”
“I thought our schedule was full,” Charley said with a straight face. “Or are you upgrading the tour package?”
“More like fine-tuning,” I said. “Like I said, it’s my first run as an island guide. Your satisfaction is my top priority.”
“Well then, by all means. More kissing.” She blushed, makingme laugh. Of course I kissed her again. Gently, then urgently, totally shell-shocked by the intensity of it all. By my feelings, by hers, by the moment.
Reluctantly, I pulled away. “We need to go.”
Walking again, hands tight together, I thought Charley finally understood how I felt about her, but something told me she still didn’t see how twisted Nil was. The yin and the yang. For every good there was something bad; we were pawns in Nil’s game. Nil gave me Charley, but surely there’d be a cost. I just didn’t know what it was—yet.
And I prayed it wasn’t Charley who’d pay the price.
Jason jogged up as we got close.
“Welcome back, man,” I said. “What’s the word?”Tell me Nat made it, and that she’s gone.
“Nat’s restocking. We saw a double, but it was too far out.” Jason looked upset.
Damn, I thought.
“Don’t worry,” I said, gripping his shoulder. “She’s got time.”
Jason shook his head. “It’s not Nat. It’s Li.” He paused. “She went renegade.”
And just like that, my Charley stoke dulled. It was a harsh reality check, no doubt perfectly island-timed.
“What do y’all mean, she went renegade?” Charley said. “Where’d she go?”
Jason ran his hand through his curly hair, which was wild and crazy carrot-top-looking after long days on Search. “She took off while her team was sleeping. She left her groundcover folded, with a single flower on top. Like a good-bye.”
“Why?” Charley’s face paled. “Why would she leave?”
