Like now.
I’d just refilled my drink when a boy with stringy hair approached. I remembered his face, but not his name.
“Charley, I’m Bart.”
As he thrust out his hand, I automatically stepped back. Bart was one close talker. “So twelve days by yourself. I made it a week before I ran into Julio, but I was holding my own…”
Sandwiched between Bart and the fire, I felt trapped.
“… landed by the volcano…”
Tuning Bart out, I overheard a girl thanking Li for her flowernecklace. Thad’s words drifted through my head.She’s crazy good with floral stuff. Li bowed to the girl, then as if she sensed I was watching, she turned toward me. Our eyes met, she gave me an almost imperceptible nod, and in that moment, I knew she’d made my lei. The girl with less than two weeks to live had taken some of her precious time to weave a necklace of flowers for me.
Sometimes it’s like it’s too screwed up to be real. But it is. Thad was so right.
“Excuse me”—I interrupted Bart, smiling to counter my rudeness—“there’s someone I need to talk to.”
As I walked away, he said, “Charley.” His voice was sharp; the cordial Bart was gone. I turned, wondering what brought on the abrupt change.
He closed the distance between us—too close!my mind cried; I couldn’t help leaning away—and his eyes were shrewd. “About Thad. He’s not all that you think he is. He loves to give newcomers the intro, especially girls. Ask Talla if you don’t believe me.”
Talla. Her name brought a flurry of images. Big boobs, flat abs, lethal spear. Check.
“Just a little friendly advice.” Bart grinned.
But we’re not friends, I thought.
I stared at Bart, wondering what motivated his “friendly” advice. Something felt… off.
“Everything okay?” Thad’s voice broke in. The animosity between the two was palpable.
“Fine,” I said quickly, glad I’d already excused myself once. “I was just going to talk to Li.”
I left the boys, avoiding their eyes and, hopefully, their drama. By the fire, Li sat alone. She was tiny, with the most beautiful eyes that I’d ever seen. As dark as night, they were rich with emotion.
“Li,” I started, then I faltered, feeling the weight of my flower lei.I’m sorry you didn’t catch today’s gate. I’m sorry you watched Sabine leave instead. I’m sorry you only have eleven days left. I’m sorry for what you must be going through.
I’m sorry.
But I didn’t say it. Because I really didn’t know what she was going through. Not yet, and maybe not ever. And I didn’t say it because I didn’t knowher, and I’d never have the chance.
I was sorry for that too.
She was watching me expectantly, no doubt wondering why I was smiling like a greeter at Walmart but saying nothing.
“Thank you,” I said. “For this.” I touched my flower necklace. “It’s beautiful.”
“For tonight,” she said. “Enjoy.” Li smiled, but I sensed she was thinking,Enjoy it now, sister, because it’s temporary. Like how I’d felt at the Flower Field. Enjoy the beauty because it’s fleeting; it can vanish in an instant, and it will definitely disappear in 352 days, whether I want it to or not.
I nodded.
She bowed her head slightly, then her dark eyes returned to me.
I didn’t bow back, unsure what etiquette called for. Afraid of insulting her, I simply nodded again.
The move made me dizzy. The heat from the fire felt like a pulsing wall—like a freaky nighttime shimmer—only instead of sucking me in, it pushed me away. From the heat, from Li, from Bart. From the whole Nil Night, which had been festive and exhausting. Days on Nil seemed longer than days back home. I knew they weren’t, but they sure felt like it.
I looked around. Natalie was nowhere in sight. Thad was deep in conversation with Samuel and Rives. The night air vibrated with energy, shared by everyone but me. Me, the newcomer. Me, the latecomer.
