That was when I knew Charley didn’t get Nil. Maybe Nil hadn’t found the chink in Charley’s armor of goodness; maybe Charley didn’t have one. Nil wasn’t in Charley’s head—at least not yet, and I hoped not ever.
Because I knew better.
This was Nil’s playground, where Nil watched and cackled and called every last shot. She knew that cat was primed and ready to run, just like us. Nil flashed gates where she pleased, using gates to change the game, bringing new contestants and threats to add to her fun. Right now Nil was enjoying herself way too much with us to let me go: watching us hope, watching us struggle. Today’s gate was a calculated Nil move.Here, kitty, she’d crooned, crooking her island finger and calling for trouble.Run and I’ll let you go.But you, Thad, will stay.
Thinking of Ramia, I shuddered.
Watching me, Charley frowned.
“Maybe you’re right,” I said, unwilling to tell her she was wrong. I refused to give Nil any advantage, not when it came to Charley. The warmth in Charley’s hand was a grounding force, a reminder of what was real and what mattered.
Charley looked at our hands. “I hate this. I mean, I’m so happy to have you for another day, but—that cat robbed you.” Her voicewent flat. “I was ready. I was ready to say good-bye, dreading it but ready, and you got robbed.”
“I know.” I rubbed my thumb over her palm. “I know.”
For a minute, we just sat there, holding hands, not speaking.
“Did you ever see that old movie,Groundhog Day?” she asked.
I shook my head.
“Well, it’s about this guy who lives the same day over and over. Noon is like that for me. We just keep saying good-bye, over and over. And then when noon’s over and you’re still here, it’s great, but it’s also terrible. And it’s worse than that stupid movie, because when we wake up, it’s not the same day, it’s another day, gone.”
I stared at Charley’s hand in mine. “For me, noon is like that moment when I’m on the mountain, behind the start line and the horn’s about to blow. I’m running through the course in my head. I’m amped and ready; I’ve got my head straight—and then it’s like someone canceled the race. Without warning, they just said, ‘Not today. Come back tomorrow.’ And then I just get jacked up all over again, ready to fly, ready togo.” I swallowed, hard. “Ready to say good-bye.”
She nodded, then laughed, a weird hollow sound. “That word:good-bye. I get that, too. Because when you catch a gate, it’ll be good. Better than good, it’ll be great. But it’s still a farewell.” Charley paused. “The crazy thing is, when noon passes, it’s like a gift. Another twenty-three hours together, guaranteed, that no one can take away.” She looked at me, her face full of guilt. “I know I shouldn’t be telling you this—I feel like I’m confessing, and I’m not even Catholic—but I’m totally dreading our good-bye.”
Understatement, I thought. Charley had no idea how much I dreaded leaving her behind. Maybe I’d started out as her island guide, but along the way I’d become more like her shield, her protection against the darkness of Nil. And I feared that without me, she’d bevulnerable. But it wasn’t my choice; it was Nil’s. The cat was cruel evidence of that.
“Me too,” I said, squeezing her hand. “But it’s temporary. It’ll all work out. Plenty of time, remember?”
Despair washed over her face, and my heart dropped. Her mind had leaped ahead; she’d already done the math.
Less than twenty-four hours until tomorrow’s noon.
CHAPTER
56
CHARLEY
DAY 89, NIGHT
I’d lied to Thad today.
Okay, maybe I hadn’t lied, but I hadn’t been totally honest either.
I wasn’t lying about feeling guilty when noon passed and Thad was still here, because itdidfeel like a gift, a wholly selfish present. But today was different. Today when noon passed, Thad’s presence didn’t feel like a gift; it feltwrong. That was the truth I didn’t share with Thad.
And the more I thought about it, the more today’s outcome felt like a mistake—a kink in Fate’s plan. Today wasThad’sday, bearingThad’sgate; we’d never been so close. But that stupid cat stole it, and now Thad only had ten days left.
As much as I was dreading it, the sooner Thad and I said good-bye the better.
And yet, I couldn’t stifle the sense that we were missing something. Thathewas missing something—something that caused the kink.
We’re all here for a reason, Macy had said.But not the same reason.
I watched Thad’s eyelids flutter in sleep.Do you know why you’re here? Have you figured it out?
