Darn it! Arabella kept a straight face while listening to him.
“It was all because I was afraid,” he exasperated.
She could tell that it truly pained him to confess as much out loud, especially to her. As far as apologies went, the Duke could write a book. Yet still Arabella was not ready to yield this easily, because some candles were lit and some confessions were made.
“I was so afraid for you that I handled the whole thing poorly,” he explained.
“I understand that something very upsetting happened at the engagement party. Imagine how I felt seeing you this distraught without knowing what was going on. And on top of that, you shut me out, and I started questioning if your state was partly my fault.”
At this last statement, Gerald squeezed her hands and pulled closer. He shook his head, both annoyed by his reaction that made her feel like this and the absurdity of the whole situation as well.
“No, Arabella, I must assure you,” he said convincingly. “None of it was your fault. The only one responsible for this whole situation is me.”
Perhaps it was a flickering of the candlelight, but in those green eyes, Arabella saw something akin to guilt.
“I should have explained what happened and told you the whole truth,” Gerald continued. “I should have trusted you more. It’s just that I have never felt fear like that before.”
“Gerald,” she said, her tone softening, “we have decided to share this burden. You’re not protecting me by keeping me in the dark; you are exposing me to more danger.”
He looked away but never let go of her hands.
“I used you as a buffer to my family’s schemes,” he bit down. “I never once stopped to think,” Gerald continued, “how you would be turned into a target.”
“Is that what happened last night?”
Gerald looked down, the grip on her hands almost painful, as if letting her go meant that she was still in danger.
“It seems that my family had hired a man to drag you into a compromising position. He was…”
Gerald hesitated over whether he should share the next part of his confession, but he decided that he could trust her.
“He was right behind you when you got out of the powder room. And I believe we didn’t meet Lady Coventon by chance. She is, after all, my sister’s best friend.”
Arabella’s jaw dropped. When he said that she was close to danger, she didn’t expect that he was quite literal. A shiver went down her spine imagining what could have happened if Gerald hadn’t appeared in the corridor at that exact time. She would have been irreparably ruined.
Gerald, of course, would never believe that she was doing anything devious, but that mattered little. The rest of the ton would accuse her and brand her behavior unfit for a Duchess. They would both be ostracized, ridiculed, and mocked.
“They would never,” Gerald explained, “expose the whole situation. Their main goal would be to extract money out of me. But they would be dangling that accusation to control and manipulate us.”
“This is what you had to endure all these years?” Arabella asked.
Gerald seemed to be taken aback by her question. He looked at her as if seeing her for the first time.
“I just told you that my family had hired someone to harass you, and your first reaction is to be sympathetic to me?”
They both looked at each other when they realized that this was exactly what had happened. Somehow, in the most difficult of moments, one was afraid for the other, and neither of them was ready to explore exactly what that meant.
“I find it…” she tried to explain, “very difficult dealing with this constantly, and it would explain part of your inexcusable behavior.”
Gerald’s face cracked into a smile. Not that vexing smirk that he had from time to time, not even that short twitch of his lips that reminded her that the Duke indeed knew how to smile but chose not to. This was a true smile, his face fully transformed into something warmer.
“Gerald,” she said, determined. “You must promise never to assume again what I can and cannot endure.”
“I promise,” he said and added with a smile, “Does that mean that you are no longer angry at me?”
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, shall we?” Arabella teased.
Gerald nodded and went for the picnic basket.
