“There was no need for you to worry.”
“Because you have taken care of it like a man, you protected my poor, weak self, am I wrong?”
“I regret my tone,” Gerald said softly.
“Your tone was not the problem.”
Gerald looked down for a moment, realizing that Arabella was not merely pouting because he was abrupt with her, but because he essentially kept her at arm’s length.
“Arabella, I didn’t want to worry you.”
“It is funny how that works, because I was worried whether you explained to me or not. In fact, the fact that you did not tell memade me imagine things that might be even more horrible than reality. So you accomplished nothing.”
“Arabella,” Gerald showed a hint of displeasure, “you do not understand.”
“It would be quite difficult for me to understand when I have no input on the situation.”
He frowned at her. Arabella got even angrier. Instead of realizing the place he had put her in, now he had the nerve to be angry at her because she didn’t just forgive him and move on.
“You were in danger, and I acted accordingly.”
Arabella was momentarily stunned. She hadn’t realized up till then that it was her who was in danger. Not that this changed anything, perhaps it even made matters worse. If she were, in fact, the one in danger, he could have shared that information with her.
“I am grateful that you acted swiftly to protect me,” Arabella felt that she needed to be fair, “but I don’t see the reason for you not to share what has happened in the safety of our carriage or in our house.”
“I didn’t want to-”
“The problem you raised is that we are still talking about what you wanted and not what I needed.”
They looked at each other over the breakfast table, both of them standing their ground. It dawned on them for a moment that they were both doing something necessary and incredibly stupid at the same time.
She was demanding something from him that was apparently not in his arsenal while she was still expressing her needs. And he was adamant that what he did was noble without taking into account how that made her feel.
It pained her to think that he acted more like a strategist than like a husband. She didn’t demand it even that much. She would be satisfied if he behaved at least like a partner.
“We cannot always get what we need, Arabella,” he seemed slightly frustrated, talking to her as if she were a child.
“But most certainly we can at least get what we deserve,” she said in a very icy tone.
She took the napkin off her lap and set it on the table. It seemed that she had miscalculated this morning. It would have been infinitely better if she had stayed in her private quarters.
“If there is nothing else, Your Grace,” she got up.
Gerald looked at her and opened his mouth to say something, but meeting her gaze made him change his mind. It seemed that there was some prudence left in the Duke.
She took a step to the door, anxious to leave this room and this day and this memory and these feelings behind.
“What would you have me do, Arabella?”
Perhaps he spoke too soon about the Duke being able to read the situation and act accordingly. She thought that she had put enough distance between them to convey that she needed some time. But no. He had to have the last word.
“It seems that no matter what I tell you, you will act accordingly,” she used his own words against him, “and do what you think is best. So let us not waste valuable time that neither of us has.”
“I insist, Arabella.”
Arabella prided herself on not being the person to get easily angry beyond measure, but it seemed that the Duke was determined to test those limits. Very slowly, she turned to fully face him. She kept her composure and looked into his eyes.
“I would have you treat me nothing more or nothing less than an equal.”
