And he knew that it wasn’t because he was out of gas, because he’d topped up just before he came up here to the mountains, and there was no sign of a leak. He’d even done a bit of maintenance on it before taking such a long drive – he’d grown up fixing cars, so he knew his way around them and definitely would have noticed something drastic enough to causethislevel of dysfunction.
“Comeon,” Calvin chided, turning the key more gently this time. “I’ll take you to a car wash just as soon as we reach the next town, get you all fresh and clean. Whaddya say? You do this one thing for me, and I’ll do this for you. I’ll even put some air in your tires.”
Shockingly, the car did not respond to this obvious attempt at bribery. The only response was the sound of twittering birds echoing through the trees. It clearly wasn’t going to be going anywhere today.
Calvin didn’t really mind leaving it and going for help if he had to – the car would be safe enough in the parking lot where the hiking trails diverged, and luckily he’d had a good look at a map of the area while his phone had still been working. Between that and his wyvern’s excellent sense of direction, he knew exactly where to go.
Speaking of his wyvern…
You’ve been awfully quiet throughout all this,he said pointedly.
The wyvern made a sound that clearly expressed its disdain for Calvin, the situation they were stuck in, and just the world in general.There is no point in expressing my opinion when you already know what it is. That would be the very definition of superfluity.
Oh, yeah?Calvin shot back.So your ongoing silence has nothing to do with the fact that you don’t know how to deal with weird glowing women in the woods who demand tribute?
As his wyvern retreated again into a somewhat baffled silence – which in itself proved his point, Calvin thought – he tried to run back through what exactly had happened.
It can’t be true, though,Calvin thought, even as he stared at the dashboard of his – very dead, very non-functional – car.Curses aren’t real. Whatever I saw back there – that was just some kind of prank. I didn’t get cursed because I didn’t bring aglowing woman a tribute, or solve a riddle. That kind of thing doesn’t exist.
Even as he thought it, Calvin was painfully aware of the irony. He’d only come up to this isolated spot in the mountains so he could get a bit of time to himself and forget that in his day-to-day life he had to be a human with a job, not a wyvern with wings that needed stretching every now and then. If anyone happened to have somehow seenhimwhile he was in the middle of shifting into his wyvern form – a massive, dark green scaly creature with a thirty-foot wingspan – and taking off into the sky, they’d probably swear up and down such a thing couldn’t be true either.
Well, not that I got to shift in the end,Calvin thought with a rueful sigh. The wyvern glared at him with a baleful eye, but made no comment. As much as Calvin knew it liked to act like it was above it all, it had clearly been shaken up by the encounter with the woman.
Maybe,he thought hopefully,there was some kind of weird electrical event nearby that knocked everything out. That’s why all my stuff won’t turn back on.
He wasn’tcursed.
But whatever the case, his car definitely wasn’t working.
He turned the key in the ignition one more time.
“Pretty please?” he asked the car beseechingly, knowing full well that it was pointless.
Calvin sighed. He’d more or less skipped over the anger stage of grief. Clearly, he was now knee-deep in the bargaining phase.
Just depression and acceptance to go,he thought glumly.Wait, was there another one in there somewhere?
There was nothing for it – he was going to have to walk to the next town, and organize a tow truck from there. And find somewhere to charge his phone. And get his Fitbit checked out. He didn’t like his chances, though.
The whole point of coming up here, after all, had been to getawayfrom civilization and have a digital detox – tiny country towns didn’t tend to have a surfeit of electronics repair businesses.
Not that he really needed his Fitbit – though the thought of it giving up the ghost while he was on a hiking holiday seemed particularly cruel – but hewasprobably going to need a phone in order to get everything sorted out.
“Sorry,” he said, patting the dashboard of the car before hopping out. “I’ll be back for you soon.”
Sure, he could tinker with cars, but this seemed like it was a little beyond his expertise.
Unlessyouhappen to know something about fixing cars?Or curses?
The wyvern huffed, clearly trying to cover its annoyance at not having been allowed out to soar through the skies after all with bluster.
As you have already surmised, the ‘weird glowing woman’, as you so eloquently put it, was nothing more than a delinquent with a special effects kit and too much time on her hands. And curses do not exist, as you are well aware. As for car engines…
The wyvern spread its metaphorical wings majestically, and Calvin had to refrain from rolling his eyes.
… Why would I need to know about your inferior modes of transportation, when I can soar above the earth whenever I please? At least, that is what I was promised, even if such promises are apparently not to be honored.
Calvindidroll his eyes this time, though he couldn’t say heentirelyblamed the wyvern.
