“And I’m not what’s best for you? Is that what she thinks? Is that whatyouthink?”
“No. Of course not. I love you, April. I asked you to marry me.”
“But it’s what your mother thinks.”
“Don’t use that tone when you talk about her.”
I winced. Ron was taking his life in his hands with that one.
“Me? Did you even hear what she said about me last night? That I couldn’t wear white to the wedding?”
“I mean… it makes sense. Obviously, you’re not a virgin.”
Oh, my god. The dude was digging his own grave with a backhoe. April let out a strangled squeak that sounded like a dog toy losing air.
“Is that how it’ll be when we’re married? You’re going to take her side?”
“Did Isaythat?”
I tried to slip past unnoticed but got sidetracked by MGM, who, left to his own devices, was stuffing his mouth with gravel. I swooped in, turning him face-down, pried his mouth open, and shook him until pebbles rained out like a busted piggy bank.
My maneuver immediately cut through April’s rage. She rushed over.
“What happened? Is he choking?”
“Nah, from what I can tell, they were sliding right down.”
She opened his mouth wider and fished out random stragglers.
“And you’re trashing my mother?” Ron yelled. “Maybe try being a better one to your kid.”
“Hey!” I barked. “Not cool, man.”
Ron’s jaw clenched. “I’m outta here.”
“Good!” April screamed. “And don’t come back!”
He stomped off, only to whirl around, hand out. “Give me the ring back, then.”
“You want the ring back? Fine!” She jimmied it off her finger and chucked it. “Go fetch, you fucking Mommy’s boy!”
The ring caught air, arching high before clattering onto the sidewalk. Ron snatched it up, cursing like the sailor he’d soon be. “My mom was right. You’re trash.”
April gasped. I passed MGM off to her without breaking stride and took off after Ron. He spotted me coming and bolted for his car.
Behind us, April screamed. “Tell Sharon if she’d kept her own legs closed, we wouldn’t be having this conversation!”
Ron didn’t answer—mostly because he was running for his life. He dove into his car just as I reached him, which gave me time to get one clean kick into his passenger door, leaving an impressive dent he’d never buff out.
“You two deserve each other! Psychos!” he yelled as he peeled away.
When I got back, April was crying, clutching MGM and kissing his head. “I’m sorry, baby. Are you okay? Mommy should’ve been watching you better.”
And even though she wasn’t wrong, I took pity on her. The only thing worse than my morning was hers. Sure, I’d pissed off a hotel tycoon and almost got murdered hitchhiking, but at least my fiancé hadn’t chosen his mother over me.
“Hey, don’t worry,” I said. “MGM’s fine. He’ll pass ’em in the morning.”
“I’m a terrible mother,” April sobbed.
