“So, leave.”
“It’s not that easy.”
“Sure, it is.”
“What would I do for money?”
“Get a job, like the rest of us. You think I wasn’t freaking out when April told me she was pregnant? I could barely take care of myself. I figured out a way. You will too.”
It sounded good in theory, but something told me I wasn’t nearly as resourceful as he was.
“Go on,” I said, batting his pebble down the curb with my stick. “Tell me more about your tragic day. I need cheering up.”
“How’s this for tragedy?” he said, a hint of amusement in his voice. “I picked a fight with my mom at her sister’s funeral.”
My eyes widened.
“Notthatmom,” he corrected. “My other mom. Sue. She raised me after mine died.”
I gave him a second. “What’d you fight about?”
He exhaled, looking almost remorseful. “I accused her of never being there for me.”
“Was she not?”
“See, that’s the thing. Maybe she was.”
“I don’t understand.”
“After I accused her, she said,Because you never let me. And maybe she’s right. Maybe I did shut her out.”
His gaze drifted, unfocused. “When my mom died, something in me… closed. I didn’t want a replacement. So maybe I blamed Sue for not being enough, when really, I wouldn’t let her be anything at all.”
I reached over and took his hand, our fingers fitting together with unsettling ease.
“The truth is, I never got past my mom’s death. I still see her face. The way she tried to smile for me, whisperingIt’s okaywhen it wasn’t. Then the light just… went out.”
Scott sat with the memory for a moment before pushing past it. “That’s why I give it everything I’ve got,” he said. “No one else gets to decide my life.”
His fingers tightened around mine.
“Because tomorrow?” He exhaled. “Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed.”
His warning struck a nerve. I thought back to Juilliard, to that moment I’d overheard some classmates whispering that nepotism had bought my place. Maybe Iwasgood enough, but once that seed had been planted, it had never stopped growing. And at the root of it all was my mother. She had her hand in everything. Every choice was stamped with her approval. Scott said out loud what I’d been avoiding. Mother was only deciding for me… because I allowed it.
Suddenly, the thought of losing everything didn’t scare me half as much as the idea of growing old, looking back on this moment, and wonderingwhat if?
“Show me,” I said.
He frowned. “Show you what?”
“I’ve got six weeks, Scott.” I met his gaze, my voice steady for once. “Show me what life looks like when you give it everything you’ve got.”
12
SCOTT: GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN
She’d asked me to show her. Six weeks to prove there was more to life than money, rules, and her mother’s leash. I wasn’t sure I was qualified. Me, with my high school diploma and a paycheck that disappeared the second I cashed it. Still, if anyone needed a crash course in normal, it was Michelle. And luckily for her, I happened to specialize in ordinary.
