“But you could do that onstage under your own name.”
He laughed, short and bitter. “No, Dad. No, I couldn’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m not right,” he said. “I’m a freak. A murderer. A weak, fucking victim. That’s all anyone sees when they hear my name.” His voice broke, just once. “I don’t want to stand on a stage as… as…”
He swallowed hard.
“As me.”
I shook my head. “Jake—”
“Don’t,” he warned.
I took a breath, choosing my words carefully. “Remember that time on the beach,” I said, “when you swam out to thefloating pier even after we warned you your knee was too weak to make it?”
“Yeah. And I almost drowned. What’s your point?”
“Why’d you do it?”
“Maybe I wanted to drown.”
“No, you didn’t,” I said. “Jake, you swim out there because you were tired of being the kid on the sand while everyone else was out living their lives. For a few minutes, you wanted to be Jake again.”
He didn’t look at me, but his shoulders sagged just a fraction.
“I won’t tell you what to do,” I said. “But know this—I didn’t raise you to be invisible.”
Jake looked away. I waited.
“So,” he said at last. “You think I should take the solo offer?”
“What I think is that you’re too young,” I said. “What I want is for you to be a kid—school, friends, prom. A normal life.” I exhaled. “But that’s not how your life shook out.”
He watched me closely.
“If you’re serious about music, if this is what you want to do with your life,” I went on, “there isn’t anything holding you back. You’re talented, Jake. You always have been. Everyone sees it. Even the suits in the kitchen.” I paused. “Especially them. That’s why they’re leaning on you so heavy.”
Jake stared toward the window, drawing a hand through his hair, like he was turning the idea over from every angle and hating all of them. But I knew what he’d choose. What he’d always chosen.
Music.
It was what made him Jake McKallister.
41
MICHELLE: ALMOST FAMOUS
The phone rang after midnight, ripping me out of a dead sleep. When I saw the caller ID, I shot upright and answered.
“Jake, are you okay?”
“Hey, Mom.”
I brushed the hair out of my face, already confused. He didn’t sound upset. Just tired.
“Why are you calling so late?”
