“I don’t… I just…” Nikki couldn’t meet my eye.
“Foster care didn’t save us the first time around, so I’m not betting my life on that.”
“Rory, this isn’t a joke. If they know you’re on the street, they’ll…”
“They’ll what?”
“They’ll…” She hesitated, glancing around for spies. “Just trust me. Get off the streets and stop playing the damn drums where they might hear you.”
“Why would they hear me?” The fear in my sister’s eyes sent me straight to my feet. “You didn’t! Tell me you’re not working for them. Tell me.”
Her lips quivered. “Rory, I…”
That was all I needed to hear. I rushed for my buckets and swung them over my shoulders, preparing to flee.
She grabbed my arm. “Please believe me. I didn’t have a choice.”
I ripped my arm out of her hold. “Yes, Nik, you did. Your choice was to suck dick in Seattle, but no, you had to choose the fucking sunshine. You know what? I take it all back. I do hate you… with all my fucking heart.”
Nikki’s eyes flooded with tears. “Good. Now run.”
11
GRACE: LAZY RIVER
It was times like this I wished I had a female friend. Someone I could share all the meet-cute details of my time with Beats. Someone who would take the information at face value and actually be happy for me. I loved my sister dearly, but she was not the right person for this job. Emma had my best interests at heart and would definitely not be excited that I’d spent the evening with a hot drummer. She’d be even less thrilled to discover he was homeless and had hair like a circus performer. A girlfriend, on the other hand, wouldn’t care about pesky little safety issues. She’d be cheering me on, asking when I was going to see him again. Tomorrow, fictional friend. I was going to see him again tomorrow, I squeed. Yes, I definitely needed to get me one of those.
“What’s the code?” Hudson asked, pulling up to the security gate in front of my home.
“Just let me out here,” I replied.
The two of us had barely spoken on the way home, not after he’d accused me of purposely sabotaging his and Mia’s night by not showing up backstage like they’d apparently pre-planned. Even after I explained to him what had happened, he remained pissed for the rest of the drive.
I opened the door and grabbed the plastic bags with Beats’ clothes.
“Goddamn, what the hell is that smell?” he grumbled. It wasn’t the first time he’d asked. I had half a mind to shove one of Beats’ socks into the seat back pocket and let it be the gift that kept on giving.
“A homeless guy shit on me,” I replied, slamming the door shut behind me.
* * *
Quinn wasout when I returned, having left a note that he was hanging out with our horndog musician friends and to text him when I got home. Not that I needed to, with him tracking my every move. Wouldn’t he be surprised to discover my phone had been inside the arena all night but I had not?
With my brother gone, I had time to prepare for my day with Beats—because that was what I hoped it would be. A day of fun where he could feel like a kid again. I knew just the place. But first, I had a promise to keep.
Dumping the first load of laundry into the washer, I used extra of all the good stuff Beats wanted on his clothes and then went to the kitchen and made him cookies. To cover my tracks, I made a double batch. One would be for Quinn when he returned home because there was no disguising the wonderful aroma, and he’d pull the kitchen apart looking for the chocolate chip cookies. The second batch would be for Beats. I smiled just thinking about him enjoying a comfort from home.
It was pushing one in the morning when I changed into my pajamas and got ready for bed. Something was nagging at me. What Beats had said.Digging deep. I grabbed my laptop and sat on the bed, staring at the closed cover. My hands began to shake. Did I dare? I opened the cover and typed “Jake McKallister kidnapping” into the search engine. My finger hung over the return button. The blood in my veins turned ice cold. I backspaced and shut the lid. Setting my computer aside, I got under the covers and tried to fall asleep, but my eyes remained wide open.
Sitting back up, I opened the cover again and typed in the same three words. This time I hit return. A seemingly endless supply of articles appeared for me to scroll through, but that wasn’t what I was looking for. I changed the “ing” on “kidnapping” to “er” and pressed return again. A series of images populated my screen, one specific one catching my eye. My heart beating out of my chest, I enlarged the picture and then audibly gasped.
“Oh my god!” A sob burst forth. “Oh my god!”
I slammed the cover shut, but it was too late. I’d found the darkness hidden inside, and a flood of memories came roaring back. I made it to the toilet just in time to purge my gut.
* * *
He was late.Eleven agonizing minutes, to be exact. I wasn’t sure why I was so nervous. People were late all the time. It was a daily occurrence. You waited, they came—or didn’t—and you moved on. But Beats’ absence seemed more ominous. Less under his control. But then, maybe I was looking at the world differently after what I’d discovered last night. I pushed that aside. I wouldn’t let it ruin my day. This was about Beats and me and no one else.
