“I’m broke, Grace. Look at me. I’m begging you.”
“Why do you want to go so bad?”
Her eyes shifted to the cocktail table, one broken nail tracing the imperfections in the wood. “It’s something I’ve always dreamed—to see him perform on a big stage. A victory for the forgotten.”
When she looked back up, there were tears in her eyes, and instinctively, I understood this broken woman was telling me the truth.
“What do I get in return?”
Her back straightened, and her lips flattened into a straight line. “Ask me anything. I’ve got nothing left to hide.”
38
RORY: THE RIGHT APOLOGY
Grace’s text came in during sound check.
Grace
Nikki wants a favor
I didn’t get the message until just before four, the time she’d planned to meet with my foster sister in the hotel lobby. It was too late to stop the head-on collision from happening, so instead, I caught a ride to the hotel with a security guard, wringing my hands the entire seven-minute drive. There was no scenario where this ended well. My two halves did not make a whole, and if I didn’t get there in time, Nikki would light me up.
I hurried through the doors, instantly zeroing in on my targets. They were sitting there so calmly. Grace saw me coming and waved me over, which prompted Nikki to look over her shoulder and then back at Grace as I dropped into a chair beside her.
“What did I miss?” I asked, trying to remain calm while casting daggers at Nikki.
“You told him?” Nik protested, as if Grace owed her anything at all. “Let me guess—you two don’t have any secrets.” Nikki’s eyes settled on me. “I find that hard to believe.”
An uncomfortable silence settled in the space between us. Nikki might not have meant it as a threat, but it was—her way of telling me that she reserved the right to destroy me at her convenience. I could picture her going to the media, selling our story. I realized then that I’d never be able to shelter in place with my secrets, not with unstable Nikki holding every single one of them. I had no choice but to flip the narrative and put Nikki in charge of my fate.
“Why don’t you tell her, then? Go ahead. Give her every last detail. And don’t forget to go all the way back.”
I was calling her bluff, knowing she wouldn’t act on it because for her to take a stroll down memory lane meant she’d have to reconcile things she’d never admit to doing.
Nikki dropped her head. “I don’t want to fight with you, Rory. I’m too tired.”
“You’re tired?”
“Yes, Rory. I’m tired. I’m struggling. Just trying to get through every day.”
“Boo-fucking-hoo.”
The glare that passed between us would burn up anyone in its path.
“What do you want from me?” Nik asked. “Another apology?”
“Another?” I asked in disbelief. “Not once, in our entire lives, have you apologized for what you did.”
“Seriously? Sorry is all I ever say to you!” she protested, so loudly people around us turned to stare. “You never forgive me. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. How many times do you want me to apologize? You can hate me all you want, but I was a victim too. They fooled me just like they fooled you.”
I slammed my hand down. “I’m not talking about that, and you know it!”
Now we did have an audience. Grace laid a hand on my arm, but I shook her off, too pissed to take her or anyone around us into consideration. If Nikki was going to come here asking for favors, the least she could do was apologize for the right thing.
It was as if the dam had burst, and Nikki broke into sobs.
Grace shifted uncomfortably, understanding full well she wasn’t part of the conversation but not knowing how to extract herself without making an even bigger scene. I avoided Grace, knowing if I even looked her way, I’d lose my nerve. Nikki had to atone for her sins. There was no other way.
