“I said my mom wasn’t cool enough.”
It was one of those soft insults that crept into a tiny cut and burned like hell for the rest of the day.
“Thanks a lot,” I said, nudging him playfully. “I’ll let you know I was plenty cool when I was younger.”
“Sure.”
“I was!”
He ignored my protest. “My teacher said that you were pretty enough to date a rock star.”
“She said that?” I asked, sliding my fingers through my hair. I’d always liked Miss Usman. Perhaps I needed to up the gift giving this year. An ‘I heart teacher’ mug maybe?
Noah continued with his sharing. “But then I started thinking. Why did you duck in the bus when we stopped?”
Shocked by his sleuthing, I rocked back on my wedges. Since when had my kid become Magnum P.I.? “I… uh… I wasn’t ducking. I was taking a rest.”
“No, you were definitely ducking.”
He had me cornered. I couldn’t come up with even one excuse for my behavior except maybe to blame it on Cody, but I didn’t dare. Not after Noah had grilled me on our exchange with him that day. He’d wanted to know who Cody was and how he knew his father. I’d been honest with him then, so why couldn’t I be honest with him now?
“Okay, yes. You caught me. I’m Jesserella,” I said, bending down and giving him a series of neck kisses that made him squirm.
“I wish.”
“You wish? Why?”
“Do you know how cool it would be to have a rock star for a dad?”
And there… right there… was why I couldn’t bring Quinn into Noah’s life. Rock stars didn’t stay.
19
Quinn: A Familiar Voice
Life took a turn toward the crazy after theToday Showinterview. Who would ever have guessed a simple search for a girl would become a cultural phenomenon? Poor Jess. I honestly never thought things would get this out of control or that people would actively be trying to smoke her out. Jess was probably viewing the whole thing like a publicity stunt instead of what it really was: a genuine search for an incredible girl. If Jess had been skittish before my stunt on live TV, she had to be like a doe traipsing through a wildlife reserve by now.
At least one good thing had come out of the Jesserella search. As a result of the interview, we’d seen a surge of activity on all platforms, raising our profile and securing us a record deal. So in a way, Jess had helped me realize a dream. And as the guys and I worked on completing the album, plans were being made for a fall tour. Things were finally moving forward. Tucker’s talk of a metaphoric rise never materialized. Musically speaking, we were on a slow trajectory.
Personally speaking, there was only an upward curve as I was treated to my first real taste of fame and it wasn’t an entirely comfortable place to be in. To be recognized. To be lionized. To be demonized. I’d never fully appreciated the courage it must have taken for Jake to walk headfirst into a lion’s den so soon after surviving the unspeakable. None of this was easy for me, but for him, it had to have been excruciating. So why had he done it? Why put himself out there for scrutiny when he could have faded into the background?
I supposed the same questions applied to me. I could’ve remained anonymous—the youngest brother hidden away behind the gates—but I hadn’t. Somewhere inside me, like inside Jake, was the desire to lead. To be heard. And if this craziness was what it took to get my voice out into the world, then I’d find the same nerve Jake had found… somehow.
Pulling through the gates of my parents’ house, I smiled when I saw the car in the driveway. Grace! And to a lesser excitement—Elliott. Why did I already not like him? I mean, my god, he sounded so perfectly perfect I feared I might mistake him for a Boy Scout. Yet still, I wanted to pop him in the nose. And we all knew that would not go well given my past involvement in Grace’s suitors. Just because she’d forgiven me once didn’t mean she’d do so again. One more infraction and I risked being cut from her inner circle where Emma now, apparently, reigned supreme.
Grace burst through the front door as I was making my way up the front stairs. She jumped into my arms, hugging me tight. No one gave unapologetic hugs like my sister. Back when we were kids, I could scarcely get her off me; now it seemed I had to beg for attention. I thawed in her arms. Grace was so delicate and virtuous. So pure and kind. People like her were gobbled up in the real world, and that was exactly why I’d pledged to protect her from the start.
“It took you long enough to come see me,” she said as I set her back on her feet.
“Two days is long? You’re lucky I managed to squeeze you in at all.”
“Oh yes. You’re so important now.”
“Where’s the dude?”
“He’s napping.”
I raised a brow. “Napping? Does he also eat dinner at four?”
