“You don’t know that.”
He eyed me. “I do know. What did you tell Tucker Beckett?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing?” my father questioned, irritation filtering over his normally jovial features. “Why do you always have to be so bullheaded? That was your chance. Maybe even your only chance.”
“Tucker Beckett is not a chance. He’s a curse. I’m gonna call him back tonight and tell him no.”
Now I was just being a dick because I knew my father wanted it so badly, and I was still irritated that he’d arranged this marriage of convenience without my consent.
“I see,” Dad said, his lips pressing tightly together. “And why would you do that?”
“Because he’s Tucker Beckett. His reputation proceeds him.”
“Yeah, well, so does yours.”
Ouch.
“You have no faith in me, do you?”
It was meant to be a meaningless reply, but my father hesitated… He actually fucking hesitated.
“Seriously? Thanks a lot,” I said, knocking into him as I passed.
He grabbed my arm. “Don’t walk away from me. I’m talking to you.”
“Do you really think I can’t make this decision on my own?”
“No, Quinn. No, I don’t think you can make this decision. Do you have any idea what it’s like to watch you throw away every opportunity you’ve ever had? It kills me to watch you sabotage yourself over and over. I mean my god, Quinn, you are so talented. So damn talented. You say you want it. You work so hard to get it. And then when you’re right there at the moment of release… you don’t finish.”
The slap to my face stung as much as if he’d used his hand. What the hell was he talking about? I finished… didn’t I? What possible reason would I have to sabotage myself when fame, when besting Jake, was all I’d ever wanted? But now that he’d said it, I couldn’t get the words out of my head. Shit, was I actually doing this to myself?
My voice low and contemptuous, I replied, “Maybe I don’t want to finish because none of those earlier opportunities were right.”
“But that’s the thing, Quinn—theywereright. You told your mother the other day that it’s not success unless it’s Jake-level success, yet there you were, steps away from a record deal with your last band… and you walked.”
“Because it was a shit deal.”
“Who cares?” Dad said, raising his voice. “It was a deal! And nowNext in Line? My god, kid, all you had to do was sing that song the other night andstay on that stage.Literally, Quinn, all you had to do was stand there, and all your dreams would’ve come true. But instead you ran. Like you always do. Things don’t have to be perfect. Sometimes we have to adapt to the situation even if it’s not ideal.”
“Jake never adapted.”
“If you believe that, then you know nothing about your brother’s early struggles in this business. It’s not always about how good you are or about how good he is; it’s about how much you want it. You, my friend, are every bit as good as Jake, and the only reason you aren’t where he is now is because you’re not living up to your full potential.”
“Like you lived up to your full potential?” I said, narrowly containing my irritation. “Didn’t you also have aspirations of becoming a rock star? What happened to that dream, huh, Dad?”
“That was different. I sucked. Like really sucked. I didn’t even realize how badly I sucked until I saw you and Jake and realized…my god, Scott, you really sucked. Maybe if someone had believed in me growing up…” My father’s voice unexpectedly broke. “You have no idea what it’s like to make your own way in the world.”
I scoffed. “Yeah, I think I know.”
“No, you don’t! There was a time that you were neglected, yes, and your mom and me, we’ll never forgive ourselves for that. But after Jake came home and we were able to heal, I dedicated my life to you kids. I was a fucking awesome dad to you and you can’t deny that.”
His anger floored me. My father rarely lost his temper. That was my mom’s job.
“I don’t deny it,” I said. Everything he said was true.
Dad shook his head. “You think you had it so rough, try being neglected your whole life.”
