“The one with the Maserati in the driveway?”
“No, the next one.”
“Ah, the one with the lion statues.”
“No, the one that looks like it was spit out of a time capsule.”
The driver had no trouble pinpointing the correct house after that. I was relieved to see no one but my parents standing in the yard. Whatever had happened to Bodhi’s fan club, I’m glad they were gone.
A sob wracked my body as I stepped out of the taxi. And then I was running, straight into the arms of the man who’d shaped me into the person I was today.
“Come here, sweetheart.”
I melted in my step-father’s embrace. But didn’t feel the usual warmth. Only safety. And that would have to be enough.
For now.
25
Bodhi: On Repeat
Papers littered the floor, pages of lyrics on hotel notepads. Scattered thoughts in the margin of the complimentary newspaper. Even the back of the room service menu wasn’t spared. And when I’d run out of room, I’d taken to writing on my skin. Her brutal words, memorialized on my flesh and etched into my brain for posterity.
“I think I’m falling in love with you, Bodhi. Only you. The other part of your life I just don’t think….”
She’d stopped then, the rest of her thoughts trapped behind tight lips. But she wasn’t finished.
“Maybe we can try again when we’re both in different places in our lives.”
And the dreaded,“I hope we can still be friends.”
Hell no, I wouldn’t be her fire buddy, the guy she was content to see a couple of times a year in a public place. I didn’t do friend zone. And no thank you to being her safety net somewhere down the road. If I wasn’t good enough now, she couldn’t have me as a last resort.
Defeated. That was where I stood now, but I’d gone through the spectrum of emotions since she’d left. Anger. Frustration. Embarrassment. I looked around at the mess inspired by Breeze’s fear. Her refusal to consider a life with me. Hell, not even a life. Just a day. One more day. Maybe if I called her and told her that.
Maybe…
No. Because the things that scared her, they were part of me. My fame. My music. The life I was born to lead. Where did I go from here? I couldn’t just flick a switch and turn it all off.
And did I want to?
It didn’t matter. There was no ultimatum. No choice. She’d taken the decision out of my hands by removing herself from the equation altogether.
I see you.
That was what she’d said the first day we’d spent together. And I’d believed her. Trusted in the fact that when I was at my lowest, stripped down to my very core, she’d see me.
And maybe that was the problem. Shedidsee me. And she couldn’t handle it.
Breeze didn’t want to be my sidekick, following me around while I chased my dreams. How could I fault her? Why would she be content to be a bit player, when she was bright like a star?
Still, plenty of people dealt with issues like this. Maybe not on such a grand scale, but we could have worked out a compromise. If she’d been having misgivings about my life, at least we could have tried to talk it out.
Not that it would have mattered. Breeze had made her choice long before coming to the suite. I hadn’t even been given the option to fight for her, and that’s what pissed me off the most.
Another rejection.
First my mother. Then Beth. And now Breeze.
