After changing into my t-shirt and sleep shorts, I tiptoed to bed and slipped under the covers as quietly as possible. Bodhi was on his back with one arm resting over his forehead. His bare chest exposed, it was as if he were taunting me with his perfection. Had he not gone to slunk off to bed to avoid our talk, I might have been more adventurous. But since I wasn’t entirely sure where we stood, I kept my greedy hands to myself.
The bed creaked, then the bedside lamp unexpectedly switched on. Bodhi rolled to his side and his arms tucked around my chilled flesh. Drawing me into his warm body, he buried his face into my neck and peppered small kisses over my shivering skin.
“I thought you were asleep,” I whispered.
“I can’t sleep. I heard you talking on the phone.”
“With my friend, Mason. Oh, and before I forget, he’s requesting a backstage pass to one of your LA shows. I don’t know if you can make that happen, but I figured I’d throw it out there.”
“Yeah, I can make it happen.”
“Thank you.” Running my fingers along the muscled curves of his back, I asked, “Nervous about tomorrow?”
“Not as much as I’m stressing about today. I’m so sorry, Breeze. What happened this afternoon, it was just insanity.”
“Hey, it wasn’t your fault.”
Bodhi’s miserable eyes met mine. “Actually, it was. I shouldn’t have put you in that position. If something had happened, I never would’ve forgiven myself.”
“But nothing happened and I’m fine.” Why I felt the need to lie to him, I couldn’t say but, by minimizing the impact the day had on me, I’d squandered the chance at an open and honest dialogue.
“I think sometimes I forget who I am when I’m with you. You just make me feel so good—normal—and I forget about my limitations.”
“So what happened today, that level of fan worship, it’s normal?”
As the seconds slipped by, he squeezed me to him a little tighter and then sighed heavily.
“Pretty much, yes.”
I nodded, gutted by his admission. This wasn’t something that would magically go away. If I wanted to be with him, I’d have to learn a new normal.
“You’re so nonchalant about it, like it’s no big deal.”
“I’ve been famous my whole life, so I don’t really know any different. Even when I was five, before I even knew how to write, I’d get stopped on the street and asked for an autograph. It’s normal for me.”
“But getting stopped on the street isn’t the same as what happened today. It was pandemonium, and that’s not normal by anyone’s standards. This was bordering on assault. You have to see that simple fan encounters don’t include suffocation.”
“I know, but typically when it gets out of control like that security is there to control it.”
“Typically? What happens when it’s not typical?”
“Today happens, that’s what.”
The tightness in my chest spread as dread filled my lungs. As much as I wanted to stand by his side, I wasn’t sure I could give up my autonomy. I respected my laidback lifestyle enough to want to protect it from Bodhi’s feverish one.
“Can I ask you something?”
I felt him stiffen. “Sure.”
“You say you’ve been famous your whole life. How did it all start?”
He pondered for a few beats. “I was discovered at a mall when I was two. Did some modeling, commercials, and then I got my first television series at four and that’s when it took off.”
“So you were juggling work and school?”
“I had on-set tutoring.”
“You didn’t go to school?”
