So, so bored.
Well, as fun as it is to be shooting the breeze with you, Breeze, I’ve got a Neon party to go to.
Nooo. You can’t be done crapping already?
Oh, but I am. Goodnight, Breeze.
Goodnight, Mason.
I stayed put on the sofa, not sure what to do with myself until Hercules nudged me with his nose. He’d had enough of my hibernation and needed a little action. To drive home the point, the Saint Bernard stuck his snout up Lucy’s backside causing a sudden and swift retaliation from the bundle of fur in my lap. Personality wise, Lucy was more like a dog, sweet and friendly with a tendency to follow me around wherever I went. But when pushed to the limits, as Herc had done with his ‘nose to the butthole’ bit, the mild-mannered kitty flipped to all fours and went into full on ninja mode, delivering a ‘Me Too’ movement beat-down for the ages.
Sweetpea wanted nothing to do with the current state of affairs, preferring instead to sit at my feet in a near catatonic state. It occurred to me then that I’d inadvertently stumbled upon the best method of emasculating the cocksure Chihuahua—turning off the lights on the whole damn city. Totally doable. Yep, the pup barked a good game, but that’s all it was. Deep down, he was just an insecure little man compensating for his tiny package with belligerence.
Taking the long way around to avoid Lucy and her paws of fury, Herc dug his head into my shoulder, making me laugh at his antics.
“Okay, fine. You win.”
With the animal parade following my every move, I wandered the house trying to figure out which light switches were in the up position because nothing sent panic through me like waking up to a house comingaliveafter a power outage. Shivering at the thought, the first feelings of uneasiness crept up the back of my neck and tingles fanned out over my skin. Something didn’t feel right, like evil was lurking right around the bend.
Suddenly, I had an overwhelming urge to hide in a closet. Instead, I did the next best thing—I ate. It proved to be an appropriate distraction, and the dogs and I worked our way through the pantry with enviable precision. My phone rang, echoing through the darkness and startling me so badly I nearly choked on a mouthful of dried mangos. Lucy shot out of the kitchen like a bullet, Sweetpea peed where he stood, and Hercules dug his head into my leg, whining. I patted his wide, furry forehead. The blackout was getting to all of us.
“I know, Buddy. It scared me too.”
I checked my screen before answering. Mason. “Hello?”
“Breeze!” he shouted my name, fear and anxiety threading his tone.
“Mace, what’s wrong?”
“Get out!”
“What?”
“Listen to me. You’ve got to get out of there right now. A fire is coming your way.”
“It’s on the 150,” I replied, confused by his urgency. “That’s a good ten to fifteen miles away from me.”
“Not anymore. The winds shifted. My buddy’s up there. His house is on fire. It’s coming straight for you and it’s traveling fast. They’re calling for immediate evacuations. You have five minutes. That’s what they’re saying for that area. Get in your car and get the hell out of there. Right now!”
“Okay. I’m… okay. I’ll leave.”
“Now, Breeze. Call me when you’re out.”
“Okay. Bye.”
A few seconds later, an emergency alert alarm shrilled from my phone. This was no drill.
Jumping from the counter stool, a moment of panic forced me to take stock of the situation.The animals.I had to get them in the car. Swooping up Sweetpea, I ran with him into the foyer where I shoved him head first into his dog carrier. It was part of my new tough love regimen and so far it seemed to be working like a charm.
Seconds later I returned to the kitchen to find my trusty sidekick, Hercules, cowering under the table. I forced myself to calm down enough to communicate with him, even though what I really wanted to do was freak the hell out.
“Hey there, Herc, you want to play a game?” I cooed, forcing out an animated, baby voice to control the shakiness in my own. “Let’s play.” He lifted his head in cautious interest before deciding I was full of shit and lowering it back to the stone floor. Herc weighed in at a hundred and twenty pounds. If he didn’t want to move, there was nothing I could do to make it happen.
“Mandatory Evacuation is in effect.” The blare of the bullhorn penetrated the walls as fire trucks drove up the street warning residents of the approaching threat. “Leave the area immediately.”
Fingers of dread clenched around my heart. “Please,” I begged my four-legged friend. When he didn’t move, I screamed, “Hercules!”
So much for my sweet voice. I now sounded like one of those evil Chucky dolls. But that didn’t work either. So I plastered on a fake smile. “You want turkey, Herc?”
