“Right, because he’s a stalker, Breeze. That’s what they do.”
“Fine. Die alone. See if I care.”
“Me?” He scoffed. “This whole guy thing clearly isn’t working out for you either. Have you ever thought about switching sides? I hear tits are all the rage.”
“I don’t know, Mace, haveyouthought about switching sides— you know, because of the whole tit thing?”
We stared at each other for a second before breaking into matching grins.
The magic faded quickly, along with my smile. “Look,” I said. “I know we made a pact never to make a pact, but that was years ago, before the two of us proved to be such failures at love. So, if neither of us is with the man of our dreams by the age of thirty-five, can I pretty please with sugar on top, borrow a vial of your sperm?”
Mason blinked down at me and, squaring his shoulders he replied, “Breeze, if neither of us is in love at thirty-five, I’ll put the boys in you myself.”
4
Bodhi: Wellness Retreat
Ihad to hand it to my father, he’d delivered on his promise of seclusion. The place he’d rented sat atop a coastal mountain, with sweeping views of the Pacific Ocean. I spent the first few hours just wandering around the grounds, enthralled by the Eucalyptus grove behind the estate.
Canopied by intertwined branches, the thick shade provided a welcome relief from the heat of the day and gave the grove a dusk to dawn type feel. Despite the fact that it was December, the temperature soared in the afternoon. In Southern California, seasons didn’t really matter. Every day was a nice day… until the Santa Ana winds arrived, blowing in from the desert and rearranging the landscape.
Giving myself over to the beauty of my surroundings, I marveled at the incredible peace I felt amongst the aging giants. Solitude was a treat I rarely had the time to taste. Wherever I went, pandemonium ensued. My life was like being in a parade— on display twenty-four-hours a day. There was never any relief from the constant gawking. Even zoo animals got breaks from the action from time to time. I never did. But here I was, as insignificant as the dried, leafy debris discarded on the forest floor. Somehow that realization helped ease my conflicted mind.
In the next few days, a decision needed to be made in regard to my mother. She wanted to meet me and, although I was curious about her, something in the back of my mind warned me to be cautious. I couldn’t shake the feeling that she was after more than just a reunion. Or maybe my father had totally warped my view of humanity. Had he taught me to be wary of the world? Were people really as he’d described—self-serving leeches, ready and willing to drain my blood the first chance they got? Was my self-imposed isolation merely a reaction to his backward teachings? My father’s underlying message had always been that he was the only one I could trust. And maybe that’s why I’d stayed close to him over the years. Even after everything inside had screamed for me to leave.
Taking a seat on one of the giant roots protruding from the trunk of a particularly twisted tree, I ran a hand over the bark and wondered what had happened in its lifetime to become this disfigured version of itself. Did the tree mind carrying around such baggage or had it come to accept life for what it was—imperfect? Maybe if I sat here long enough, the answers to my own flawed existence might drop from the sky. I’d been given an impossible choice. Either the devil I knew, or the angel who’d risen from the dead. What was I to believe when the people who were supposed to love me the most had lied to me every single day of my life? What was wrong with these people? How was I supposed to choose a victor when both appeared to be the villain?
“Got any advice?” I asked my leafy friends. As predicted, they didn’t have words of wisdom, nor did they offer me an ounce of sympathy. No doubt they’d heard their share of sob stories over the long years, and mine was just another one to add to the puddle of tears at the base of their trunks.
A gust of wind blew off my hat. In seconds, the cap had traveled far enough that it was no longer worth my time to chase it down. It was, after all, just band merchandise. There were thousands more where that came from. The winds had been acting up for days now and were expected to intensify. Evidence of their fury could be seen all around as I climbed over shredded white bark and discarded branches, some the size of small cars. I didn’t want to imagine the damage that tonight’s predicted eighty-mile an hour winds would bring to my personal oasis. The old majestic Eucalyptus trees were already whimpering from the effort as the punishing gusts tested their aging balance. But it wasn’t until I heard the sound of splitting wood that I raced out of the grove. Of all the ways to die, getting flattened by a falling branch seemed the most undignified.
I spent the rest of the afternoon by the expansive pool. The unusually hot temperatures were great for sunbathing, but not so great for everything else. I alternated between lying out and taking dips in the pool, and for the first time in a long time, I didn’t worry about paparazzi climbing over the shrubs to snap a picture. As I saw it, if the photographers were willing to scale the walls surrounding the fortress, they deserved a half-naked shot of me.
The wind eventually messed with my relaxation when a strong gust blew a lounge chair right into my leg. A welt appeared and, swearing up a storm, I gathered my stuff and ducked into the safety of the sprawling one-story mansion. Too bad my father hadn’t pitched in extra cash for a wind-free week.
Still, I couldn’t help but be impressed with how well the man knew me. He’d found a place that had enough stuff to keep me busy for weeks. The arcade beckoned me to the promised land of male-driven fantasy. But my stomach growled, so I headed off in search of food. Finding the kitchen in this place wasn’t as easy as turning a corner.
As I ambled through expansive rooms and sweeping hallways, flipping switches along the way, I had to wonder why a house this large didn’t come with an instruction manual or, at the very least, a map. Because if I was going to be here for five days, I needed to know where to drop a deuce.
The gleaming kitchen came into view a few blocks away, like a beacon of light calling me home. Starving from the hike, I grinned when I opened the refrigerator and found it stocked full of prepared meals. Of the healthy variety, of course. A clear sign from my father that I shouldn’t consider my five-day break an excuse to slack off on my exercise routine or eat like shit. Although, I had to admit, the first thought that popped into my mind as I perused the wide variety of fruits and vegetables was the box of Twinkies I’d laid waste to last week. Something told me I wouldn’t find any surprises like that in the pantry.
After heating one of the meals in the microwave, I plopped down onto a stool and scarfed down a large serving of spinach lasagna. Just as I was swallowing the last bite, a set of keys hanging on the wall caught my attention. I hopped to my feet and wandered over, immediately identifying the keyless remote hanging by the silver band. A Range Rover. Even more impressive was the fob, labeled with the wordNanny.
“They give their nanny a Range Rover?” I mused to no one. Impressive. It occurred to me then that I was holding freedom in my hands. Oh, the things I could do with the Nanny’s Range Rover. Yes, I’d promised my father I wouldn’t leave the premises without calling for a bodyguard, but that was only because I didn’t think I’d have the means to escape on my own. Now… the possibilities were endless.
Grinning, I kissed the cool metal. “Well, hello Twinkies.”
Not that I dared step foot into another grocery store. At least not while preteen girls still found me attractive. Twinkies were merely a metaphor for the wide variety of snacks that could be mine if I found this magical Range Rover. Hell, maybe while I was stuffing my face with tater tots and deep-fried apple pie, I’d drive to the coast and watch the waves roll in. Of course, if the winds didn’t die down, I could just step outside and be blown to the beach, no car required.
“Don’t let me down, nanny,” I said as I took the keys for a walk. My strategy for finding the hidden treasure was simply to keep pushing the lock button until the beeping alarm gave away the car’s location. When I stumbled upon the second of three garages and laid eyes on the gleaming SUV, I let out a whoop of joy.Dayum!The nanny traveled in style.
And first thing tomorrow morning, so would I.
* * *
As predicted, when the day turned to night, the winds intensified. But it’s not like I really noticed the punishing gusts since I’d been down in the windowless basement for hours getting my fill of its infinite awesomeness. A movie room, a full-size bowling alley, and an arcade featuring no less than twenty video games and pinball machines all conspired to keep me thoroughly entertained. More than once I’d wished the guys were here, but that would completely refute my father’s misguided assumption that I needed rest. I actually did need a break. But only so I could come up with new and ingenious ways to make his life miserable.
I was going on my third hour of total brain-zapping fun, when the lights suddenly tapped out, plunging me into inky darkness. There was always that moment immediately following a blackout where you waited for the lights to kick back on. And that’s what I did. Helplessly gripping the side of the machine, I swallowed hard and waited for the electricity to return. It didn’t.
