I nodded, laughing. “I’m not much of a catchoffpaper either.”
* * *
Conversation halted as we wove our way through the parking lot. I sensed a change in her demeanor, and as I glanced down at her, I noticed the tears glistening in her eyes. Now that we weren’t volleying quips back and forth, Sam had the time to reflect on my betrayal. Dammit, an explanation about her necklace should have been the first thing out of my mouth. I knew she’d noticed it was missing out in the crowd when we first kissed, but I’d ambushed her with it when Jake unknowingly flashed her the evidence.
“You all right?” I asked, kissing the top of her head.
Sam’s bottom lip quivered, and she put on a brave face to nod her reply.
I held open the car door, for her but she didn’t get in. My thumb swiped across the trail of tears on her cheek.
“Look, Sam, let me explain…”
“You gave my grandfather’s stone to your brother?” she asked. Instead of being filled with anger, though, her voice was shaky and steeped in disbelief, as if the gravity of what I’d done was finally sinking in.
“I… it’s complicated.”
Sam laid her head against my chest and rewarded me with a warm, rich embrace. The sudden turn of events confused me, and I scrambled to catch up.
“You’re not mad?”
“No. I’m crying because I’m touched. I’m happy. I’m… I don’t know what I am. But I think what you did was a beautiful thing.”
Relief swept through me. Years ago when I’d gifted it to Jake, I’d felt fairly certain she would approve, seeing that she’d done the same for her brother. But the necklace had been intended for me, so there’d always been that nagging doubt. My hands wrapped around her waist and I pulled her in tight. “As soon as I read your letter, I put the necklace on. I wore it proudly; I did. And strangely enough, I did feel its power. I credit it with helping me through withdrawal. There were times I didn’t think I’d make it another second without a hit, but then I rubbed the stone like you used to do, and I swear it eased me through the rough patches. But…”
A sudden wave of emotion strangled my speech, just thinking about the time I’d found Jake in the closet with a baseball bat in hand, waiting for the ghost of his tormenter to come and finish him off. How could I not do everything in my power to help my little brother through? And so I gifted him the last thing I had left of my girl, telling him a pile of lies in an effort to make him believe the necklace had some special powers.
“But what?” she whispered, her grip on me tighter.
“But Jake needed it more than I did. It’s not the stone itself that holds the power. It’s the belief in it that does. You believed. I believed. I thought maybe Jake would too.”
“Obviously he does if he still wears it.”
“I think he does. We never talk about it. Here’s the thing, Sam. He doesn’t know it was yours. Jake never would have accepted it if he knew it was a gift you’d given me. That’s why I silenced you back there.”
“Where did you tell him it came from?”
“I told him a story about me being on the top of a cliff, flying high, inching closer to the edge. I said I was considering ending it all until I saw a flash of silver in the weeds. The sun was hitting it just right and it shone like a gift from the heavens. I told him the second I picked it up, I felt better; stronger. And once I put it on, I knew I was safe. You should have seen his eyes, Sam. He wanted to believe so bad. He needed some sort of hope to hold onto. So I took it off my neck and clasped it around his. He’s worn it every day since.”
She nodded, her hand grazing my skin. “Was it true?”
“Um… obviously not. You gave me the necklace.”
“No, Keith, the story about you on the cliff edge.”
My chest tightened as I looked away, not wanting to admit the truth. I still remembered her voice in my head, talking me off the ledge. She’d saved me that day, and no amount of physical evidence could convince me otherwise.
“Yes. That part was true.”
The horror in her eyes was not lost on me. Sam knew all too well what happened to people teetering on the verge of no return. “And what made you walk away?”
I sought her out, my eyes connecting to hers in a way they’d never done with any woman before or after her. Time could not erase these feelings. I still loved her with all the intensity I’d had when I was still a screwed-up teen.
“You did, Sam.”
* * *
She lay her head back against my chest, my arms wrapped around her like a shield in battle. The desire to protect her from life’s tribulations was innate and stronger than any defensive weapon man could imagine. This woman had walked this world without my steely protection long enough, and now it was time for her to rest, knowing I had her back. And her front and every other part of her that required safeguarding.
