“Jake? Are you talkin’ about Jake?” He laughed each word, inciting the beginnings of a riot inside my head. “You’re so dense. Your brother’s not missing, Keith, he’s fucking dead. Everybody knows it. He was probably offed the first night.”
Steve wasn’t saying anything I hadn’t heard before. Nor was he saying anything I hadn’t thought myself, but damned if I was going to let some lowlife speak my brother’s name like he didn’t matter. Steam rose through my body like a teakettle ready to blow its top, and when it hit the surface air, I came up swinging. My fist connected to his nutsack without a second’s warning, and he dropped to the floor beside me, cupping his battered balls and stinking up the place like the pile of filth he was.
Gathering what strength I had left, I picked myself up off the floor and stood over Steve, ready to pummel him. I’d never been an angry person… selfish and resentful, yes, but not angry. Now I wanted to hurt people for speaking the truth. Yes, the likeliest scenario was that my brother had met a grizzly death, but the alternative was equally as horrifying. If Jake was still alive, he was suffering, and there was no way my brain could go there. It’s not that I wished him dead, it’s just I didn’t have the mental toughness to wish him alive.
“Don’t you ever say his name again, you got that? Ever!”
I continued beating on the recipient of my rage until his colleagues ripped me from his body. Steve, of course, was furious, and how could I blame him? His ball sack had just absorbed an entire month of my pent-up rage, and now he was itching for revenge. Apparently roughing me up on site wasn’t intimidating enough, so I was thrown into the back of Steve’s vehicle for what was sure to be a wild ride.
Belying the seriousness of my situation, a smile stretched wide across my face. That little loss of control was probably going to get me beaten to a bloody pulp, yet I welcomed the pain. Craved it. At this point I really didn’t have anything left to lose. My family had detonated the minute Jake was forcefully dragged away from our lives. Some of us held on longer than others. Actually, I take that back. Emma was the only dangler left. The rest of us let go from the start and were now just bodies littered on a concrete slab like Grace’s birthday drawing had foretold.
No doubt reacting to my smiling profile, Steve warned, “I don’t think you fully understand the seriousness of the situation, Keith. Outstanding balances don’t sit well with my boss.”
“Well, I hate to tell you this, but I don’t have any way to pay my debt this second, so this little trip of yours isn’t going to help your cause. Like I said, I can get you your money tomorrow, and then both our problems will go away.”
“That would be swell, Keith, if I trusted a word out of your mouth. It’s time you learned a lesson.”
I sat in silence the remainder of the way, my mind retreating back to an easier time – a time when I was still a fuck up but at least a lovable one; a time when my family was imperfect but mercifully intact; a time when I had the girl of my dreams on top of me in my truck. Now I was just a junkie, no better than the tweakers I’d thumbed my nose at months ago.
God, I was pathetic. I shouldn’t be here now, about to get the snot beaten out of me. I should be holding strong with Sam by my side, the two of us helping Emma hold what was left of my tattered family together. But the second I pulled that box from my closet, I’d lost all claims to her. Sam deserved better than the likes of me, and the sooner I let go of what we’d had, the better.
* * *
I sat fidgeting on my chair. The man circled around me, speaking to himself under his breath as his fingers followed the lines of the chair. When you lived in the hallucinogenic world I did, bizarre behavior was the norm. So, even though I was alone with him, I wasn’t all that worried. I mean, it wasn’t like this wasp of a man, in his forties, balding, and missing a couple of teeth, was some imposing character. I was seriously questioning how he’d risen to a middleman position in the first place. I mean, I wasn’t some muscle man myself, nor was I in the best physical shape after the month I’d had, but even I could blow the guy over with one puff of air. A beating from this guy was going to be about as painful as getting whacked by a fly swatter.
“Do you know who I am?” he asked, all cocky like he was some high-profile celebrity and not the piece of shit he truly was.
No, I didn’t know who he was, nor did I care. My high was fading, and I needed to get back and find a friend who could keep me going until morning.Let’s get the beat down over with, shall we?
“My name is Paulie. I’m the guy you’re stealing from.”
“I’m not stealing from you, dude. Like I was telling Steve…”
Before I could finish my line of bullshit, Paulie backhanded me across the face, and I had to admit, it smarted more than I would have expected from a skeleton.
“Keeeithhhh,” he said, elongating my name in a breathy, creeper sort of way. “Here’s how it’s going to work from here on out. I talk. You listen. Got it?”
I nodded.
“Excellent. Now, I hear you have a bit of a unique situation. I know who your family is and what happened to your brother. Now, I’m not heartless, Keith. I’m not. I get that you’re going through a rough time. But I’m also a businessman, and I expect to be paid what I’m owed.”
“And I’ll get it to you tomorrow, like I told Steve.”
Pain exploded through my eyeball and I could feel it swelling up on impact. Jesus, this feather of a man had a hell of a right hook. My head was spinning from the violence, and suddenly I wasn’t feeling as confident in my ability to escape this man’s clutches with minimal damage.
“What did I say, Keith?”
“No talking,” I answered, my face tingling as it puffed up.
“Exactly. You don’t follow directions well, do you?”
“No, that’s never been my strong suit.”
Another blow rocked my world. He was confusing me. I thought we were having a conversation. I mean, why was he asking me questions if he didn’t want an answer? Jesus, you’d think he could be clearer. I tried shaking off the pain spreading through my face, but it was no use. I was in a world of hurt.
“Here’s the problem, Keith. You say you’re going to pay me, but I don’t believe you. So, now I’m forced to take a different approach.”
Paulie walked to his desk and flipped the computer around. What was on the screen knocked the wind right out of me: photographs of my family. Some had been taken at the press conference and others snapped at close range of my father and siblings entering and exiting the house. Even Grace and Quinn weren’t spared in this shakedown.
