“I get it.”
Actually, I didn’t. College meant nothing to me. I wasn’t cut out for higher education, so I’d never paid much attention to all the hoopla surrounding admissions. For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why anyone would want to subject themselves to more schooling. To each his own, I supposed; but in some ways, Sam and I wanted the same thing.
She exhaled. “Thank you for understanding.”
Not so fast. I caught her eye and offered up something I’d always been reluctant to share: sincerity. “I need to graduate, Sam.”
She studied me with more interest now. Maybe I’d finally ceased being a caricature in her eyes. I didn’t know, nor did I care. I just needed her on my side.
“Do you have enough credits?” she asked, thawing.
“If I pass all my classes with a C or better, I can walk in June.”
“And that matters to you?”
“It matters to my dad.”
“But does it matter to you?” she replied.
I was taken aback by her question. Why did people keep asking me that? Try as I might, I couldn’t see the difference. “Why does that matter to you?”
“Because if you don’t care, then it’s just a waste of my time.”
Her ultimatum rendered me speechless. Right here. Right now. I had to decide who I was doing this for, because Sam was right – it did matter. If this was all being done for someone else, I was bound to fail.
What exactly was it that I wanted? I mean, obviously I didn’t want to end up in prison with a bar of slippery soap as my only friend; but more long term, what about that? I thought about my father. He was a hard worker, devoted to family, and liked by everyone. The man came home every day whether he wanted to or not. And I can attest… there were times he definitely did not. But like clockwork, he walked through that door and became the man we all needed in our lives. That was what I wanted.
I lifted my eyes to meet hers. “It matters to me.”
6
Samantha: My Loss
Oh, man, was I a sucker for sincerity or what? Maybe it was naïve of me to think someone like Keith McKallister could be honest about a request for help, but I believed him if for no other reason than I desperately needed to believe in something. In no way was my decision influenced by the fact that he was a dreamy guy who smelled of seaweed. No, I’d like to think I was principled enough that I would have helped him even if he’d had a face full of acne and reeked of week-old nerd.
But when the hot guy in question went all heartfelt on me, speaking of his father and recommitting himself to his studies, I was a goner. Actually, I was surprised I’d shown any gumption at all. Making him dig a little deeper for my help was inspired. Now he knew I meant business. He was using me – of course I knew that – but I’d weighed the pros and cons and decided I was intrigued enough with this guy that it was worth my time to help him. After all, I needed to find out what had changed since Monday and why my lab partner, who could barely complete a full sentence without drifting off, was suddenly clear-eyed and ready to make a change.
As he settled in beside me, I resisted the urge to sniff him. With his hair wet and tangled, it was clear he’d just stepped off the beach and into the classroom. And given that this was third period, I had to assume he’d skipped out on his first two classes.
“So, I’m assuming your dad didn’t know you were on vacation.”
“You assume correctly.”
“How’d you explain your absence to your parents?”
“I didn’t. We took day trips. Kissed my mom goodbye at breakfast and was home for dinner every night. If done right, Sam, truancy doesn’t have to be an unpleasant experience.”
“Wow.” I smiled. “How very resourceful of you.”
“Right? People just assume stoners are lazy, but I’m like, guess what assholes, the blunt doesn’t pass itself.”
His comment had me giggling up a storm. I’d never met someone so easy to talk to, and the idea of tutoring him was becoming more intriguing with each passing minute. If Keith could give me just a little of this giddy feeling every day, I’d come out of this partnership a winner.
Surprising even myself, I kept our conversation going. “How were the waves?”
A calm instantly settled over him. “Gnarly. Thanks for asking. Do you surf?”
“Me?” I laughed. “No. I don’t like the idea of the flesh being ripped from my bones.”
