Keith nodded before shifting his gaze toward mine.
“Sam,” he said, tipping his head in greeting.
“Keith,” I replied, mimicking his exact acknowledgement.
“You look good.”
“So do you.”
Then silence. The four of us stood there awkwardly until Casey filled in the gaps with a well-placed poop joke, instantly lightening the mood. Keith’s face relaxed as he and Jake dropped into a conversation about a woman in a wedding dress flashing them some serious nipple. Such things didn’t happen in the real world, but it did in theirs. Over-the-top unpredictability was part of the McKallister charm.
“Only in this family,” I said, giggling along with their story. “See, this is what I miss about not hanging out with you guys.”
“Breasts?” Keith asked, feigning ignorance.
Remembering everything I loved about this big, crazy family, I gave into the moment and laughed with abandon. Without thinking, I reached out and spontaneously touched Keith’s arm. Shocked by the unplanned moment of contact, I immediately pulled away, but not before locking eyes with him. The world around me swam out of focus, and I was only partially aware of the bride and groom slipping away. All I could see was the man before me, and instead of the anger and indifference I’d expected from him, I got love and understanding.
“I gotta tell ya, Sam. I nearly passed out when I saw you in the church.”
“I didn’t want it to be awkward, so I was trying to hide.”
“I know you were,” he said, his hand gliding along my back as if no time had passed. “But you should know by now that we always find each other. It’s just what we do.”
His words hit me hard, forcing me to swallow down the lump that instantly formed in my throat. “Yes, it is what we do, isn’t it?”
We stood staring at one another. There were so many things I needed to tell him – huge, important things – but was it right to upend his life all over again?
“I’m sorry you had to lie to your family for me. They blamed you for the breakup. Keith, that wasn’t what I wanted.”
“That’swhat you’re worried about?” Keith asked. “Trust me, I didn’t do it for you. I prefer scorn over sympathy any day.”
“Regardless. I’m sorry.”
Keith bent down and whispered in my ear. “I missed you.”
The moment was so intimate – so sweet – that every truth I’d held so tightly slipped out. “I missed you too. And I miss Murphy and your family and our life together. I miss it all so much. I think… I’m just not meant to live without you.”
As if unable to keep his hands off me, his fingers traveled over my skin. “No, you’re not. Good or bad, Sam, I would have stayed by your side. You made that choice to go it alone, not me.”
“I know. And I promise you, every single day after you left I wanted to run to you, but… I was like a wave that was never going to make it to shore. At some point, you had to get off of it for your own good.”
“But who are you to tell me what I need? Maybe I wanted to ride your wave to the end. Have you ever thought of that?”
There was nothing I could say to defend myself. I’d chosen my fate, but I hadn’t allowed him to do the same. Somehow I’d fooled myself into thinking I was doing what was best for him when, in reality, I was only feeding my own ravenous self-pity. Oh god. I’d done this. I’d made us two halves of a whole.
Keith tipped my chin, studying me. “You look beautiful, Sammy. Healthy. Have you experienced any symptoms? Have you been to the doctor? I’ve researched a lot about Huntington’s and, I know you’re still on the young side of a diagnosis, but why torture yourself? Find out for sure if you carry the gene. At the very least you’ll have your answer.”
My bottom lip quivered as I fought the tears, but it was no use, there was no stopping the flow. “I did the genetic testing, Keith.”
Interpreting the results by way of my emotional reaction, the color drained from his face. “Oh.”
Sliding my fingers into his hair, I drew his head closer and whispered the words in his ear. “I’m not my mother.”
Keith jerked his head back and the words fell from his lips, almost hesitant.
“What does that mean?”
I stared at him, willing him not to make me say it.
