Occasionally I joined her and the kids, but more often than not, I had commitments that needed tending to. She understood that and it wasn’t an issue… until I had a day off. Then I was fair game, and there was nowheretohide.
Take today, for example. Casey had a deadline looming, and while I’d been hanging out with the kids – the three of us had been engaged in parallel play, me on my keyboard and them with their toys – apparently that wasn’tenough.
“I have to finish this by tonight, and honestly, I need a littlebreak.”
“Yeah. Sure. We’ll play some videogames.”
“No,” she said abruptly, the word bursting from her mouth aggressively. My eyes expanded in response. Seeing my surprise, Casey tried for a calmer approach, but I’m not going to lie, it still came out like a youth football coach barking orders out to all his pint-sized players. “Video games are noisy and someone always gets mad – usually it’s you. No, what I want is for you to take them away… FAR, FAR away… for just a fewhours.”
“Oh. Do you mean like…outside? By myself?Withoutyou?”
“Yes, Jake, that’s whatImean.”
She wanted them, and me, gone. It was a fairly straightforward demand: take the kids away for a few hours or die a long and brutal death. Okay, so maybe it wasn’t that dramatic, but I wasn’t keen to find out just how far she’d go to secure a little freedom. After all, Casey was looking especially disheveled and fidgety. Just the fact that it was noon and she still hadn’t changed out of her pajamas or brushed her hair was indication enough that, if I balked at her request, shit wasgoingdown.
When Casey had the whole Medusa thing going on, I listened. No sense in needlessly turning to stone. Besides, she’d committed me to the task before even asking. Refusing was not an option. The only question now was how much effort she’d require me toputin.
“Okay…um…,” I said. “Where am I supposed totakethem?”
“I don’t know. I just Google ‘fun things to do with kids in the area,’” she said, distracted. “You can do this,can’tyou?”
No. I was pretty sure I couldn’t. In fact, I was fairly convinced that I was nowhere near competent enough to go out on my own with two kids, and I was about to confess that to Casey until I caught sight of her eyes. They were blazing hot, as if she were preparing for my stoning. Maybe messing with her right now would not be the best choice. No, I could most likely do this. It was just for a few hours. Besides, they were two little kids. How hard could theypossiblybe?
“Sure, babe, no problem,” I said, as an idea, a really goddamn good idea, popped into my head. Kyle. “I’ll get my brother to come with me, and we’ll take themsomewhere.”
“Kyle can’t go. He’s picking up Kenzie at the airporttoday.”
Ah, shit. I wanted to stomp my feet and complain, but I was entirely too old for that behavior to be cute anymore. There was no way around it. I was going out by myself with the kids. Today was going to suck balls. With no options left, it was time to be a man. Placing my hand on her shoulder, I bent down to kiss her cheek. “No worries. I’ll take care of everything. You go get some work done, and I’ll wrangle uptheherd.”
“Thank you. You’re a lifesaver. Can you shut the doorbehindyou?”
And then therewas just me… and them… in the wide, open world. Did anyone else see a problem with that? If there was a guy less qualified to babysit kids than I was, I’d like to meet the hapless dude. I mean, I was a decent playmate to Sydney and Riley, and had become a reluctant slave to their every want and need, but that didn’t mean I could be trusted to keep them safely by my side in a publicplace.
From my position plastered up against the bedroom door, I watched the two kids lying on their stomachs on the floor of the bus, happily watching YouTube videos together. They looked so sweet and innocent, but I knew better. These moments of peace were actually just them fully charging up their batteries so they could then use their stored energy against melater.
Sydney, sensing my presence, held up her empty plastic bowl and without even bothering to make eye contact, asked, “Can I get some more berries,please?”
Pushing away from the safety of my bedroom door, I walked over and grabbed her bowl. After filling it with some more berries, I handed it back to her. She thanked me, but again, no eyecontact.
“Can I get some more berries too, please?” Riley asked, not taking his hands or eyes off the screen. Instead of handing his bowl to me, he just kicked it over. I picked it up off the floor and filled it withberriestoo.
“Oh, and Jake?” Sydney called out. “Crackerstoo.”
Irritated, I grasped the kitchen counter attempting to hold my tongue. Who did they think I was, their personal servant? I didn’t see any obvious injuries that might prevent them from getting to their own feet and preparing something tasty. I walked back and handed the berries toRiley.
Sydney turned and raised a brow at me. “Did you forget mycrackers?”
“Nope,” I said, defiantly. “I’m just not going to get themforyou.”
“Really?” she asked, intrigued by myrebellion.
“Really, Syd. I’m not your snack bitch. Get themyourself.”
I now had both kids’ undivided attention, and once they saw the smile on my face, they understood I was kidding. The two dissolved into hysterical laughter. At least my swearing had their attention, and what Casey didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her. It was time to get this show on the road. With the clap of my hands and the boom of my voice, I announced, “Who wants to go on an adventure with metoday?”
Riley jumped from the floor in an instant and flung himself at me. I caught him mid-flight. I took that as a yes. Sydney was more practical in herresponse.
“Just you?” she asked, sounding every bit as skeptical asIfelt.
