“Still?” my brother asked, with a tilt of his eyebrow. “He was in there when I stopped byearlier.”
“Not still.Again.” Mom answered, unfazed. “He’s in and out of the crapper all day. Old guys poopalot.”
“I’m not pooping,” Dad’s frustrated voice called from the bathroom. “I’m reading. It’s the only place I can go where I get a little peace and quiet from yourmother.”
“He says it like it bothers me.” She directed her comment toward us from behind her hand. “I only wish he’d stay in there longer, but unfortunately his legs fall asleep at about the twenty-minutemark.”
We all snickered at hercomment.
“Such an amateur,” Luke commented, shaking his head. “I can make it at least thirty before the tingling sets in. And Mom, I know you’re itching to boot us from the nest, but can you at least grant us a five-minute reprieve? If Miles is coming, he’ll be herebynine.”
“If? Why wouldn’t he be coming?” Jake asked. “He was all excitedearlier.”
“Yes, but that was before he got in trouble, and now he’s trying to talk Darcy into lettinghimcome.”
Miles was our oldest brother and had been married for nearly twelve years to his high school girlfriend, Darcy. Together they had two children, Sydney andRiley.
“See, this is the part of wedded bliss that I don’t get,” Jake said, the slightest hint of a whine lifting the words. “Why does Darcy get to decide if he goes out or not? That’s bullshit. I’m just letting you know now, Casey, you’re not going to be the bossofme.”
Mom and I exchanged amused eyebrow arches, as my father laughed hysterically from behind the lockedbathroomdoor.
“Good luck with that, Jake,” his hollowed voice called out. “Perhaps you’re unfamiliar with that old adage – the apple doesn’t fall far fromthetree?”
“No, I’ve heard it,” Jake answered, loud enough for himtohear.
“Uh-huh, well, Casey didn’t even hit the ground. Good luck,myman.”
Palming my man’s face and drawing him toward me, I said, “Don’t listen to my dad, sweetie. As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totallyflexible.”
Mom snorted out her approval and stepped over Jake’s outstretched legs to give me ahighfive.
“You disappoint me, Linda,” Jake said, shaking his head. “There was a time I was your favoriteperson.”
“That was when you were all fresh and new, like a shiny penny,” Mom mused. “Now you’re like one of those corroded coins from the 70’s. You still have value, but you’re not going in the coin collection anytime soon, you know whatImean?”
Jake gaped at her a moment before dipping his head into his hands. “Oh, god, Casey isexactlyyou!”
“What did I tell you?” Dad yelled from histhrone.
“It’s better you found out now.” Mom patted him sympathetically. “So you said 9:00pm,right?”
“Yes, Mom. What’s yourhurry?”
“If you must know, I need to put on a mud mask so my skin looks revitalized in themorning.”
“In that case, you might not want to rinse it off,” Dad chuckled, continuing to butt into the conversationfromafar.
Mom didn’t even blink an eye at his insult. Instead she asked Luke, “How did Miles get introuble?”
“Well, somehow Riley got his arm stuck in the vending machine downthehall.”
“The candy or the soda machine?” sheasked.
“Does it reallymatter?”
“Not really, but I was kind of thirsty. If he’s stuck in the soda machine, that puts a damper on myplans.”
“Lucky for all of us, it was the candy machine.” Luke pulled out a bag of M&M’s from his pocket. “Miles greased up his arm, and on its way out, Riley managed to grab four bags of these babies.Cool,huh?”
