“Obviously you don’t have agirlfriend,then.”
“No,” he laughed. “But, honestly, I haven’t met a girl I like more than my guitaranyway.”
“Someday,”Isaid.
“Yeah, someday,” he replied, but he didn’t seem all that convinced. He was silent a moment before looking up at me cautiously. “Okay, so you said anything,right?”
“I did. Are you going to make meregretit?”
“Maybe. There’s something I’ve wondered about for alongtime.”
Yeah. I was definitely going to regret it, whatever thequestionwas.
“After you came home, you never talked to any of us, but sometimes I’d hear you whispering when you didn’t think anyone was around. One time I snuck in and listened. You were saying the same five names over and over. Jack, Anton, Rex, Wilson, and Felix. Who are they? And why were you saying theirnames?”
I sat there dumbfounded. Never in a million years was I expecting that question. I actually had no memory of repeating their names; but then, that time after arriving home from the hospital had been pretty torturous. My mind wasn’t rightatall.
“Is that too personal?” heasked.
“No, it’s just… I’ve never told anyone about them before. Do you promise to keep thisbetweenus?”
Quinn leaned in, his voice a breathy whisper of intrigue. “Ipromise.”
“Do you know how many victims Ray had, how many theydugup?”
“Twelve,right?”
“That’s the official count. Yes. But that’s not how many victimstherewere.”
“Really?” His eyes had doubled in size at this piece ofinformation.
“There were more… five, to beexact.”
“Jack, Anton, Rex, Wilson, and Felix,”Quinnsaid.
Inodded.
“How do you know theirnames?”
I didn’t answer for the longest time because I wasn’t sure how. Finally I tapped my finger to my temple and answered. “They live in my head, and no matter how hard I try to get them out, they neverleave.”
That turned out to be the end of our anything-goes question game. I’d revealed more than I wanted to and had given him more than he’dbargainedfor.
I stood up abruptly. “I’ve got to get back toCasey.”
Quinn, still staring at me wide-eyed and open-mouthed, finally got his wits about him and said, “Yeah,okay,”
Heading for the door, I turned when Quinn called myname. “Jake?”
“What?”
He fidgeted with his guitar. “I shouldn’t haveaskedthat.”
I stared at him a moment before replying, “And I couldhavelied.”
Why hadn’t I lied?It would have been so easy to tell him I couldn’t remember, but instead I admitted to Quinn my deepest and darkest secret. Not only did I divulge they existed but also that these wayward ghosts lived inside my head. Crazy much? I could only imagine what was going through Quinn’s mind. No doubt the poor kid hadn’t expected such honesty from me. He probably thought I was insane because that’s how it sounded to my own ears. At least maybe now he understood why I was emotionally unavailable to him. There were just too many damn people competing formytime.
* * *
