“…and then I gentlylaidhim…”
No! My face flushed as heat coursed through my body. She wouldn’t! I dashed back into the kitchen, but the damage had already been done. Shelby was midway through her child abandonment saga. Emma had that smile on her face…you know the one, somewhere between polite amusement andHoly shit, is this womanforreal?
“Wait, so Finn was the baby?” she asked, her eyes wide withdisbelief.
“Oh, yeah. That’s why he has that weirdly shaped head. It molded to the toilet,”Shelbysaid.
“Oh, that’s why?” Emma laughed as if she was finding Shelby unbelievably entertaining, and my mother lapped up the attention. “I was wondering aboutthehead.”
“There’s nothing wrong with my head,” I defended myself before turning on my traitorous mother. “You do realize that when you tell that story, it only makes you look like a total shithead,right?”
“Oh, who cares? Look how you turned out.” She then focused her attention back on Emma. “He’s always been real smart, this one. I honestly think the dip in the commode didhimgood.”
“Okay,” I abruptly clipped off the conversation. “Are youready,Emma?”
“No, wait,” Shelby protested, clearly not ready to give up the talking stick. Maybe she had other stories lined up: like the time I was a toddler and took a crap in the fountain at the mall. I was three. What the hell was I doing naked in a fountain in the first place? “I was just going to make a box of macaroni and cheese. Are youhungry?”
“Actually, Finn and I stopped for breakfast not long ago, but otherwise I totally would.” She stood up and actually embraced my mother. What the hell was happening here? Had they just made friends? “Thanks for all the information. I’ll be sure to use itagainsthim.”
“See?” Shelby purred. “That’s all I ask for. Finally you found a woman worth liking, Indiana-Jones.”
* * *
After takingthe stairs to our sixth floor apartment, I swung the door open to find Richie peeking out of the blinds. He jumped when I shut the door. “Shhh! I think I just heardgunshots.”
“You’re fine. Some teenagers were hitting the garbage bin withabat.”
“No, I’m pretty sure it was agunshot.”
Okay, I mouthed to myself, rolling my eyes at hisparanoia.
Richie moved away from the window, apparently satisfied with myexplanation.
“What’s wrong with the elevator?” Iasked.
“I don’t know. It hasn’t worked since the earthquake. Be careful – the old people wait at the bottom of the stairs. Took me half an hour to help one guy to his room on the fourth floor. Now I hide in the bushes until the coast isclear.”
“Sooo, how was the whoring?” I asked,grinning.
“Dude. Amazing!” Richie said it with starry eyes. “Vanessa is a smokin’ divorcée in herforties.”
“Vanessa? You know the name ofyourJohn?”
“Of course. This wasn’t some alley transaction. I spent the weekendwithher.”
“And?”
“I think I might beinlove.”
I laughed out loud until I saw the serious expression on his face. “Oh, shit. You’re serious.Sorry.Wow.”
“I know it’s sudden, but sometimes youjustknow.”
“So then I’m guessing she’ll be booking youagain.”
“It’s not like that.” Richie pursed his lips and shook his head. “I’m quitting the business. Vanessa doesn’t want me in the lifestyleanymore.”
“She was your first trick!” I said, my voice pitched with amusement. “Honestly, Richie, you have to be the worstprostituteever.”
