Uncertain how to proceed – I was, after all, new to this mothering gig – I asked, “What have youheard?”
My little brother winced and looked away. I didn’t push for an answer since his body language told me he knew way more than he should. Mom was wrong. How could she hope to shield them when reality screamed in their ears? And by not allowing them to talk about it, she was creating added fear andconfusion.
“Okay, I’m going to tell you both something, but you guys have to promise not to tell Mom I toldyou,okay?”
Grace snorted up her snot and studied me with curious eyes. “Ipromise.”
Quinn kept his head down but nodded hisagreement.
“Quinn is right. Jake was kidnapped. Do you know what thatmeans?”
My little brother nodded, but my sister sat theredumbfounded.
“It means that a man came and took Jake away from us even though he didn’t wanttogo.”
“Is he going to come for me next?” Grace asked, peeking up at me through innocent eyes. I hesitated before continuing. Maybe Mom was right. Maybe this was too muchforher.
“No. He’s nevercomingback.”
“Then why is Jake so afraid?”Quinnsaid.
“I don’t know. Some bad things happened to him while he was away, and that made him really sad … and scared. I think that’s why he screams. I’d scream too if I was him.Wouldn’tyou?”
Both my siblings nodded innocuously as if my simplistic explanation made perfect sensetothem.
“I know Jake’s different, and sometimes his behavior is scary, but he’s still our brother, and he needs us now more than ever. So we have to be strong and brave even when the screaming scares us. We owe that to Jake because he fought so hard to come back to us. Do youunderstand?”
“Yes,” they both answered inunison.
“And that’s why Mom and Dad can’t be with you as much as they werebefore.”
“I don’t care,” Quinn said, acting tough, but there was clear sadness in his words. “I like youbetter.”
“Me too,” Grace said, huggingmyarm.
“I’m happy you like being with me, but cut Mom and Dad some slack. They love us more than anything in the world, but right now, Jake needs them more than we do. Once he’s better, they’ll be good parentsagain.”
It was interesting that I was giving such advice to my siblings when I was the one who couldn’t seem to give my mother even the slightestbreak.
“Until then, you’re stuck with me and my totally awesome blankettents”
Grace continued rubbing her face against my arm. “I love you, Emma. You’re my favoritestsisterever.”
I felt my heart melting. How had I deprived myself of her sweetness for all those years? If there was one good thing that had come from this whole terrible ordeal, it was my renewed sense of family. I’d never take those I loved for grantedagain.
“She’s your only sister,dummy.”
“Quinn!” I gasped, playfully slapping my hand over his mouth. “Way to ruin themoment.”
17
Finn: Light ’EmUp
Pulling off the freeway,we drove another couple of miles down side streets until we arrived in front of Perryland. The first couple hours in the car with Emma had been fun and easy, but as we drew closer to the compound, anxiousness began to rattle my nerves. She’d asked me a few generic questions about my family on the way, but for some strange reason, I was getting the distinct impression Emma was expecting tomeetthem.
“It’s right there on the right. You can just pulloverhere.”
She glided the car to a stop and started gathering her belongings and shoving them in her purse. The expectant gaze she flashed up at me was my answer.Oh,shit.
