Mom reluctantly handed the phone over to him, and my father spoke forcefully into the mouthpiece, “Jake, this is Dad. The police are on the way. We are coming to get you. I want you to hang up the phone. Hang up and go hide. Do what I say!Rightnow!”
After a moment of silence, the line went dead… plunging us all, head first, into a whole new hell. Jake had all but come back from the dead, only to proclaim to our mother that he was dying. Why give him back just to take him again? Just to survive long enough to get to the hospital, Jake would have to overcome huge obstacles, not the least of which was a knife-wieldingmonster.
As soon as the connection was lost, Mom went ballistic, pounding on my dad’s chest, accusing him of abandoning Jake in his moment of need. For me, the room began to spin as nausea set in.No. Please. No more. I’d hit my limit and couldn’t stand another second of the strife anduncertainty.
I ran for my room, my sanctuary, the place where I could put distance between myself and the reality of the world in which I lived. Once inside my safe zone, I slid down the wall, covering my ears. I didn’t want to hear. I didn’t want to know. They could find me when it was all over… when there was an answer. When they knew for sure whether my brother was aliveordead.
Unraveling, my breaths came out in strangled gasps.Please. Please. Please.We couldn’t get Jake back for the briefest of moments only to have him ripped away again.Please let himlive.I was certain my brother would do his part. He’d proven his strength. He’d survived this long and could make it another few minutes.Don’t take him away.If Jake were allowed to live, everything would be okay, and we’d have our family back and be normal and happy again. If I could be granted that one wish, Jake’s life, I’d never ask for another thing for as long as Ilived.
The door opened and Kyle appeared, tears streaming downhisface.
“They found him?” I asked, biting back thehysteria.
“Not yet.CanI…”
I reached out my arms and he dove into my body, burying his head into my shoulder. Together we remained, crying, waiting, hoping, and praying. And then they came with theanswer.
* * *
It had beena good three hours since Jake’s fateful phone call. The busy energy of the hospital was a blur to me. My mind was focused solely on Jake and what his life must have been like for the past five weeks. Images of his suffering flashed before my eyes, and no matter how hard I tried to turn the pictures off, they’d grabbed hold of my imagination and wouldn’t let me go. The terror… oh god… how could he have survived it alone? At least we had done our suffering as a dysfunctional unit, but Jake… he’d had no one. The fear alone would have done me in. My body shook in protest, and I covered my eyes with the palms of my hands, hoping the darkness would turn off the grislyslideshow.
Kyle’s incessant fidgeting caught myattention.
“You okay?” Iasked.
He hadn’t left my side since the time we’d shared in my room. Kyle didn’t look up but nodded nonetheless. His leg was bobbing up and down. I laid my hand on it and the movementstopped.
“I’m so scared,”hesaid.
“I know. We should hearsomethingsoon.”
“I don’t want to get my hopes up, but I can’t help it. I feel like I’m in some dream, and I’m going to wake up and he’ll stillbegone.”
I reached over andpinchedhim.
“Ow,” he complained,flinchingaway.
“You’re awake. This ishappening.”
Kyle nodded, looking down at his feet. I heard the hesitation in his voice as he asked, “What if, after all this, he doesn’t make it through thesurgery?”
“He’llmakeit.”
“How doyouknow?”
I didn’t know; my thoughts were the same as his. There was a very real possibility Jake wouldn’t survive even after everything he’d been through, but I felt the need to be strong for Kyle. He deservedthatmuch.
“Because this is our miracle, Kyle,” I said, shaking with emotion. “Weearnedit.”
My little brother didn’t respond to me in words, but he laid his head against my shoulder as if I’d brought great comfort to his weary soul. I hugged him to me and we sat like that for some time before Keith, flushed and sweaty, burst through the waiting room door. It was about goddamn time! I shot out of my seat and stomped overtohim.
“Where haveyoubeen?”
Keith flinched away as I drew near, the murderous expression on my face clearly startling him. It had taken him a week to recover from the beating, and I had hoped, after Dad had paid his debt and recovered his car, that he’d learned his lesson. But like the addict he was now presenting himself to be, it didn’t take long for him to climb out his bedroom window and disappear from our livesoncemore.
“I’m sorry. Imessedup.”
“What’s wrong with you?” Angry tears rolled down my cheeks in big, slobbery lines as I delivered a few punches to his arms and chest. Keith didn’t even try to fight me off because he knew damn well that he deserved the girly beating. The guilt on his face was not lost on me, but I was too angry to care. When I’d tired myself out, Keith wrapped his arms around me, hugging me, and I sobbed into hisshoulder.
