“Right, like no one cared about the porta-potty couple,” she said through grittedteeth.
“In that case,” I said, standing up and offering my hand to her, “we might as wellownit.”
Emma looked up and, to my surprise, her momentary hesitation had been replaced by something else… defiance. A wicked smile transformed her face as her eyes twinkled with the same amusement as mine. Again a gulp traveled up my bone-drythroat.
“America the beautiful,” she said, then put her hand in mine and I pulled her to me. Wrapping my arm around her back, I planted a heated kiss squarely on those luscious lips of hers. The crowd went wild. This just might be my most acclaimedperformance.
After takingour bows and exiting the carriage, Emma and I wandered around the carnival a bit longer. Booths were beginning to shut down as they prepared for closing. I followed her gaze to the row of giant stuffed dogs with floppy ears hanging on the top rafters of a prizebooth.
“You want it?” Iasked.
“What? The dog? No,” she said, waving me off as she crinkled her nose and acted as if what I’d asked was nothing more than crazy talk. But her body language told anotherstory.
“You do!” I laughed. “You wantthedog.”
Her eyes lit up with the fun of the moment. “Okay, fine. I want the dog. I’ve never had a guy win me a prize before. When I was a teenager, I always thought it was soromantic.”
“Step aside, woman. Your stupid teenage daydream is about tocometrue.”
Plopping down the cash, I confidently picked up the basketball and took my first shot… then a second and a third. I quickly discovered the ball was bigger than the misshapen rim, and one shot after another just skidded offtheedge.
“I think you aim it for the hole,” Emma said,snickering.
“The hole, you say?” I slapped my hand to my forehead in an ‘aw, shucks’ display. “Of course! Why didn’t I thinkofthat?”
Plopping the next wad of cash down, I discovered a disturbing pattern forming. Not only were none of my shots dropping, but I was quickly running out of cash to make this corny dream of Emma’s areality.
“Dude,” I whispered to the booth attendant. “How much forthedog?”
“Not for sale. Sorry. I could losemyjob.”
“Finn,” Emma grabbed my arm. “It’s no big dealreally.”
“No. I’ll stay here all night if Ihaveto.”
“We close in ten minutes,” the guy addedhelpfully.
“I’ll stay here for tenminutes,then.”
Taking pity on me, the attendant bent down and grabbed a small stuffed animal out from under thecounter.
“Here,” he said, handing it to me. “Fortrying.”
Uh-huh, that was the way to impress the lady – a participationtrophy.
I stared down at the stuffed animal. It was one of those cheap, made-in-China ones with no squish value at all. Upon closer inspection, I discovered that the animal I’d been given was in the middle stages of some freakish evolutionarychange.
“What kind of animalisthis?”
“Does it matter?” the attendant shrugged. “It’s the best you’re goingtoget.”
“True,” I nodded, and then bowed to Emma and handed her the crossbred shark-turtle. “Forthelady.”
“Oh, Finn,” she gushed. “It’s just what I’ve always wanted. A… um… is that a fin coming out of theshell?”
“Either that or a dick,” I said, examining the animal more closely. “I honestly don’t even know which way is up. Are those eyes orballs?”
“Well, you know even evolution has its faults,” she said, playing along with the insanity. “I shall name my genitalia-enhanced shark-turtle “Darwin,” and I will cherish it forever. Thankyou,Finn.”
