Rocky studied me for a long while before his features softened and his shoulders drooped forward. “Look, I’m sorry. I was being a dick. I know I don’t always show it, but I’m actually really happy for you, man. And good for you. I’m glad you foundsomeone.”
The tension faded as I relaxed once more. “Thankyou.”
“And a baby too, huh? Is it a boyorgirl?”
“We don’t know. We’re waiting tofindout.”
“Oh, how upper class of you,” he said, smirking. The twinkle in his eye told me he was just kidding, though, so I shook off theoffense.
“You suck.” Ismiledback.
“I’m just jealous. You’re banging a debutante, and I’m surrounded by a bunch of hairy asses. It’s been a while for me, if you know what I mean. I guess you heard that Tori and me split. She just upandleft.”
“Yeah.Sorry.”
“I mean I could see her leaving my sorry ass, but to abandon the kids?” Rocky shook his head, looking away in disgust. “I just, I wish I could be there for them, you know? I mean, Shelby is their goddamn guardian. How scaryisthat?”
I laughed. “Horror-movie-level scary. Anyway, if you don’t beat anyone to a bloody pulp in the next six months, you should get out of here on goodbehavior.”
“How likely is that?” he asked, with a glint inhiseye.
“What, the bloody pulp part or the goodbehavior?”
“Either.”
“Rocky. Just keep it together. If not for yourself, then forthekids.”
“I know,” he sighed. “How are they,anyway?”
“Wild. Both of them. Nike’s jumping all over the place; he says he wants to be like me. And Posy, oh man, she gives me a run for mymoney.”
“Well, shit, that must be a whole damnlotthen.”
“Rocky. This is why,” I said shaking my head in amusement. I realized there was no point in being offended by his ‘privileged life’ digs. If being ‘rich’ was all he had to hold against me, I’d be damnlucky.
My brother smiled, a far-off expression on his face. “I know you probably won’t believe me, Finn, but I really am trying to be better. I earned my GED, and I’m learning a trade. When I get out of here, I’m done with all stupid, illegal shit. I want to be a father to my kids, like you’re going to be to yours. In fact, I plan to find me some nice, rich girl too. Does Miss McKallister have anysisters?”
“Noneforyou.”
Although it was meant to be a joke, Rocky took immediate offense. “Okay, I get it. Not good enough. Story of myfuckinglife.”
The mood shifted. This had always been Rocky’s downfall – he was too sensitive to criticism, even if it was only perceived. Although he’d be the first to make jokes about someone else, he couldn’t take the same in return. Under all that blustery bravado, the real Regnar the Viking was not the badass he pretended to be. In many ways, Rocky was still that aimless little kid running wild and trying to find his place in a chaotic world. And I, at least, shouldered some of theblame.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean itthatway.”
“Yeah,Iknow.”
“And I’m sorry I left you behind all those years ago. Maybe if I’d stayed, you wouldn’t be behindbarsnow.”
“That’s bullshit, and we both know it. If you want the truth, Finn, I spent a good bit of time being jealous as hell of you. You got everything, and I got shit. But I’ve come to realize something: no one handed you anything more than they handed me. You were just smarter and nicer and more diplomatic in your approach. You weren’t afraid to take the chances offered to you, and you made a better life for yourself. Nothing wrong with that. When it comes right down to it, I have no one to blame but myself. I had the same opportunities you did, I just was too stupid to take advantage of them. And now, I’m here and there you are. You can blame yourself all you want; but trust me, Indiana-Jones, you didn’t put me here, my piss-poor decision-makingdid.”
* * *
Emma gripped my hand,screaming as another contraction swept through her. Nine hours and counting. As a stuntman, I’d been shot by terrorists and hit by cars and chucked off roofs, but nothing compared to watching the woman I loved suffer. After the newest round of cramping eased, I locked eyes with Michelle, who was looking as flushed and helpless as I was. I think I spoke for all of us when I said this couldn’t be over quicklyenough.
Watching Emma, the determination and pain in her eyes, made me reflect back to my own mother and the day of my messy birth. As much as we poked at and made fun of her dubious decisions that day, the fact remained she’d been barely more than a kid, scared and alone, trying to deal with the secret that had just tumbled out of her. I couldn’t imagine her going through such a thing without the loving support Emma and I were envelopedinnow.
Shelby was there in the waiting room, along with the entire McKallister clan. Although I’m sure she was eager to meet the new addition, she was even more excited to meet Jake. On a piss break, I’d caught her huddled in a corner with several members of Emma’s family, including Jake and Casey who were both laughing their asses off at something she’d said. Instinctively I knew whatever it was had something embarrassing to dowithme.
