“That’s something I can agree on.” I brightened. “And might I suggest we extend that ban to your mother as well, Indiana-Jones FinneganPerry.”
Finncringed.
“Oh, stop. I love your name. There is no one like you, so why not have a name like noother?”
“Does that mean if we have a boy, he’ll be ajunior?”
“God no. Your name dieswithyou.”
“Wait a minute. I thought you lovedmyname.”
“Onyou.” I laughed. “I love itonyou.”
“At least promise me our baby will have a kick-ass name. I mean, come on. This little guy fought his way through a rubber coating with a 98% effectiveness rating? What are thechances?”
“2%.”
“Exactly, 2%. That’s pretty damnamazing.”
“Yeah, well, no offense, Finn, but you were born in a toilet. It seems to me you’re a low percentage kindofguy.”
22
Emma,2005:Glen
The soundof metal bouncing off porcelain and a loud thump drew me to my feet. I hurried to my bedroom door, assuming the ruckus to be an earthquake. It wasn’t until I heard the groan that I realized the ground wasn’t actually shaking and that something else, something human and destructive, had caused that noise. Jake! It was the natural assumption, given we were currently the only two in the house. His bedroom door was wide open, so I turned in the other direction toward thebathroom.
“Jake?” I knocked on the door, careful not to push it open. There was no privacy left in our home. Even the bathroom was fair game. Dad had taken all the locks off the doors to prevent Jake from bolting himself upinside.
“I’m fine.Goaway.”
His four words were overcome with emotion, and I instantly knew what was happening behind the door. Desperately swinging it open, my eyes fell onto Jake sprawled on the floor with a chair lying on its side. In the bathtub sat a shower rod, which appeared to have just recently crashed to the ground. In his hand was a thinly rolled sheet and on his face was clear guilt and panic. The thud had been my brother dropping off his sheetednoose.
“Don’t tell Mom and Dad,” Jake said, in a voice so anemic it matched his colorlesscomplexion.
“Tell them what? That you were trying to kill yourself? Did it ever occur to you that I’d be the one to find you hanging?” Tears spilled over as my throat closed tightly, and each word that escaped the funnel was pitched higher than the next.He was going to let me find him dead!“Why? Why are youdoingthis?”
“I don’t know.” He dipped his head, dejected, his eyes swollen with emotion. I dropped to my knees and pulled him into my arms and held him tighter than I’d ever held anything in my whole life. Maybe I could squeeze the sadness out of him, and then he’d want to liveagain.
“Nothing happened.” Jake faltered as he fought for the words. “I fell right through the knot. Please don’t tell Mom and Dad. They’ll sendmeaway.”
I pulled out of the hug and examined his neck. Aside from some redness, there were no permanent marks, although I was certain he’d have some nasty bruising from the fall. Still, keeping something like this a secret from our parents? I wasn’t sure Icould.
“They aren’t going to sendyouaway.”
“Last time I was at the hospital, the psychiatrist said if I didn’t stop trying to kill myself, they were going to lock me up in a mentalinstitution.”
“A treatment facility, Jake, not a mentalinstitution.”
“It doesn’t matter. I don’t want to gothere.”
“Then stop trying to killyourself.”
Jake dropped his heavy head into his hands and shook it back and forth. Despair had overtaken his life; it was that misery which forced his hand. I gently rubbed his back as I could think of nothing else to soothe his wounded soul. This was suicide attempt number four; although it was the first I’d been called on to attend. I noted that Jake was being challenged to get more creative with each subsequent try. My parents had grown increasingly savvy, and with every attempt, more things were removed from his reach. All potentially dangerous items had been locked away, including anything sharp or ingestible. After today, I had to wonder if we’d be checking out bed sheets to keep Jake from hanging himselfonthem.
“Why do you do this toyourself?”
“I don’t know,” hewhispered.
