Kyle: Nerd Speak
Daleand I had been relentlessly searching for the idol since the first day of play. It wasn’t as easy as pinpointing a location and going to check. In fact, we were spending way more time warding off tails than looking for the damn thing. Just yesterday, we’d almost made it to the tree Dale had deemed a possible hotspot when Bobby peeked out from behind a rock. My eyes flicked toward Dale and he nodded as we continued on our way, never getting the chance to search.
Spending time with Dale was surprisingly fun. He was my very first nerdy friend. We were complete opposites, yet somehow we meshed perfectly. I was just as big an anomaly in his world as he was in mine. He surrounded himself with intelligent, driven people. My lackluster approach to life was difficult for him to comprehend and he took to mentoring me. And when I say mentoring, I mean he felt the need to explain how every little thing in the world worked. I had to admit, sometimes, when he went on and on about smart people stuff, I’d just tune him out. But we did have a nice little give and take. The more time I spent with Dale, the smarter I felt; and the more time he spent with me, the funnier he got. Dale was brimming with geeky humor that was just begging for an audience.
“So have you always wanted to come on this show?” I asked him as we wandered through the woods.
“God, no. This is the last place I ever thought I’d be.”
“But you’ve been analyzing the game for years. How could you not want to put your theories to the test?”
“I’ve mastered World of Warcraft, too, but that doesn’t mean I want to visit Kalimdor and the Eastern Kingdoms.”
Dale said a lot of thing I just didn’t understand. Sometimes I gaped at him as the words left his mouth, trying to determine if the language he was speaking was even of this world. In the beginning, I’d ask him for clarification, but he would just follow his comment with more mumbo jumbo that I couldn’t comprehend, so I stopped trying to figure it out and just chalked it up to nerd speak.
I realized early on in my interactions with Dale that he liked fantasy worlds… like, a lot. He was always talking about some warrior or planet or gryphon, whatever the hell that was. I’d never had the patience, or the attention span, to follow the complex story lines of fantasy-based video games. I didn’t need much to have fun in my gaming world. If you just gave me a ball to dribble or a pimp to shoot, I’d be a happy camper.
“Okay, so why did you come on the show, then?” I asked, curiously.
“Honestly, I don’t know. I’m the most predictable guy you’d ever meet. I guess I just felt the need for a change.”
“A midlife crisis,” I nodded, like I had him all figured out. “Next thing you know you’ll be driving a sports car and bagging a hot chick in a bikini.”
“I said I needed a change, not a fantasy makeover.”
“Gotta dream big, my man.” I offered up my twenty-something wisdom and slapped his shoulder in a manly gesture of friendship. Dale actually winced from the unexpected harshness of the contact. Jesus, he was such a nerd. I loved it.
“I’m married with children, Kyle. I can’t afford to dream big.”
“That sucks.”
“No, that’s what life looks like when you’re a forty-something computer programmer who drives a minivan.”
“Dale, no! My god. Not a minivan! Have you no self respect?”
“No!” he laughed. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.”
“I’m begging you, man, you need to buy that sports car as soon as you get home.”
“I hardly think I have the swag to pull off a muscle car,” Dale laughed, which as always came out sounding like a hyena’s mating call. Every time he did it, he made me chuckle.
“I have a new mission out here, Dale. I’m going to make you cool.”
“Oh, yeah? I’d love to see you try.”
“I admit, I have limited resources on the island, and I’m putting a lot of pressure on myself, but mark my words, by the time this show is over, I will make you the envy of every middle-aged couch potato in America.”
“Ahh, the grandeur of youth.”
“I don’t understand your prehistoric idioms, Dale, but sure, we can do that too if you want!”
* * *
Daleand I came up to the pre-designated area and separated. The plan was to split up and hopefully throw off anyone trying to follow us. It was only maybe a minute after breaking off from Dale that I heard the crackling of branches.Damn.Another spy. We were never going to get the idol. Knowing I could no longer meet Dale without blowing our cover, I began walking in a big circle around the perimeter. If I was going to be followed, I might as well make it interesting.
After about my fifth trip around I heard a groan. “Good god, Kyle, get somewhere already.”
It was Kenzie.
