“I have to look just terrible,” I said as I attempted to tame my wild hair.
“You look fine. Don’t worry about it.”
Ahh…he was such a sweet guy.
“Although you smell like wet dog.”
I gasped in surprise and then elbowed him in the chest. “And here I was thinking how sweet you were,” I said as I wrestled out of his arms and sat up. Immediately I lifted my arms to smell myself.
“Relax. I was kidding,” he replied, and sat up himself. “We all stink. Don’t think you’re so special.”
Oh, right, because smelling like a wet dog qualifies me as ordinary in my new world.Slipping on his shoes, Kyle scooted himself off the platform and onto his feet.
“I’ve got to take a piss. You want to come?”
Did I want to take a hike in the woods and squat over a dirt hole with a hot guy I’d just met? No, not really. But this was my life for as many days as I lasted, so I’d better get used to the lack of privacy, not to mention the decimation of my vanity.
“Yeah, I’m coming,” I huffed.
TV Confessional
“Last night sucked. But the morning was quite nice.”
—Kenzie
15
Kyle: The Blue Lagoon
Kenzie made me laugh. She was so clearly out of her element but was trying hard to hide it. Trudging through the tropical brush, my spooning buddy walked head on into a spider web. Of course her first instinct was to panic. Hell, that would have been my first reaction too. Then she proceeded to do the whole customary creepy-crawly dance, frantically attempting to remove the sticky substance from her hair and face. Her expression transformed into that of a sour old man as she pawed at her skin. Once Kenzie realized I was watching her entire entertaining spectacle, she forced herself to calm down. Adopting a façade of indifference, she brushed off the remaining web and marched on with determination etched upon her pretty face.
We found our way to the designated bathroom area. It wasn’t an actual bathroom, since we were expected to just go wherever the land or sea allowed. But yesterday as a tribe we’d found a spot off the beaten path that was surprisingly private and collectively deemed it ‘the poophole.’ The thick barrage of tropical foliage separating the area made a perfect, secluded division into a ‘his’ and ‘hers’ section.
As we took off for our individual spaces, I called to her, “I’ll meet you back here in a few.”
“You don’t have to wait,” she said, looking down at her shoes as she rolled a strand of hair through her fingers.
“I don’t mind.”
“It might take awhile.”
“Oh,” I said getting the mental picture. “Geez, Kenzie. Too much info.”
She looked up, confused, and then understanding dawned on her. “What? No. I’m not going number two. I just have issues peeing outside.”
“You get stage fright?” I said, nodding.
“No, I’m afraid something’s going to bite my butt while I’m squatting.”
My mind wandered in so many directions at once. “It’s times like these I’m happy to be a guy,” I replied, feeling quite superior.
“You do realize that it will be become an issue for you at some point too, right?”
“Oh yeah, shit. Great, now you havemeall worried.”
“Sorry,” she laughed.
“Anyway, I’ll wait here. What else do I have to do?”
