“I think it’s a great idea,” Marsha piped up, and then turned her gaze on Kyle. “I call spooning you.”
He laughed, only encouraging her further. In the past few hours, the two of them had been trading subtle innuendos back and forth. Clearly Kyle was joking. I wasn’t so sure about her.
“So, aside from Marsha, who else wants to do this?” Dale asked.
“I’m in,” Kyle quipped. “But I think we should have some boundaries. I mean, it goes without saying that spooning is all backdoor stuff, so we don’t need to worry about any dick-to-dick action, but I think it should also be clear that we are talking guy/girl spooning. I’m not sure about you, Dale, but I don’t want your dick anywhere near my ass.”
Poor Dale. Even in the dark I could tell he was blushing something fierce. The man was exceedingly uncomfortable with sex talk of any kind, and Kyle seemed to have a keen knack of endowing every conversation with something to embarrass Dale.
“Stop,” I laughed, poking Kyle. “You’re making him uncomfortable. Don’t listen to him, Dale. I think it’s a good idea. At least we won’t freeze to death.”
We held off on the sleep train as long as possible, but once the rain started pounding down onto our shelter and seeping through the palm leaf roof, all pride washed away and we assumed the position. We took turns on who got to be in the coveted middle section of our double-stuffed Oreo cookie configuration. Currently it was as follows: Dale, Marsha, Kyle, and me.
“So what are the rules here, Dale?” Kyle asked. “Where do our arms go?”
“Wrap them around the person in front of you, I guess. I don’t know,” Dale answered. “I thought you were the expert.”
“Me? I try to avoid spooning at all costs.”
“Why?” I asked, genuinely curious.
“It gives a chick hope that I’ll stick around longer than necessary.”
“Oh, okay. I get it. You’re one ofthoseguys,” I laughed, pushing on his wet body. “And here I thought you were the strong, sensitive type.”
“What in theworldgave you that impression?” he replied, with an amused chuckle.
I cringed. I’d had no logical reason to come to that conclusion and he knew it. Would he think I’d been giving him more thought than necessary?
“Speaking of chicks, did you know that there are more chickens on earth than people?” Marsha piped in.
“I did not know that. Thank you for that valuable piece of information, Marsha,” Kyle answered in mock seriousness, and then added, “You know I wasn’t talking about spooning actual chickens, right?”
Marsha cackled in such a way that I wasn’t sure what was going through her mind. I nudged Kyle and he turned to me with a wide-eyed look of bewilderment, as if he were saying,Is this woman for real?
“We need to get a few hours of shut-eye, people,” Dale whispered, like a father to his children. “Or we’ll be worthless in the morning.”
We lay there in silence for several minutes, trying to heed Dale’s sensible advice, but the explosive thunder made it impossible to actually fall asleep.
After one ear-busting blast, Marsha’s increasingly grating narrative came out in a tiny squeak, “Lightning strikes are actually more common than you might think. They hit the earth about eight million times a day.”
“Oh, goodie,” Dale answered cynically. “We only have about 7,988,000 more to go.”
“Um, Marsha?” Kyle questioned in a hushed voice.
“Yes?”
“I’m not sure if you’re aware, but your hand is on my ass.”
“Yes. I’m aware.”
Uncontained giggles burst forth from each and every one of us. The misery of our situation had given way to near hysterics.
“Okay, then, well… enjoy.”
“I already am,” Marsha replied.
The four of us shook with laughter. The more we tried to be quiet, the louder we got. Even Dale had given up on being practical.
