“Last night, were you awake? Could you hear me? Did you move your hand?”
When Jake nodded his head, I thought I might pass out. His hand gripped mine and he pulled me closer. He mouthed something, but no words came out. Thankfully, I knew a thing or two about Jake’s non-verbal communication, and I immediately understood what he was asking for.
“Casey’s on her way.”
* * *
When Casey arrived, I saw a calm fall over Jake. He reached for her and she was in his arms in seconds. The moment was so private and so incredibly heartfelt that my parents ushered us out to give them some privacy. As we waited in the hallway, I was forced to watch Grace tell anyone who asked how Jake had awoken on her watch. She acted like she had done something miraculous, yet I was the one who’d spent every night the past week at his side. I was the one who’d poured my soul out to him and hadn’t slept more than six hours in a row for nearly a month. And then in waltzes a well-rested Grace who spends twenty minutes chattering on and on about all kinds of worthless nonsense, shows him a picture of Chuck the kitten, and he opens his damn eyes for her. Really, Jake? Come on!
I leaned against the wall, feeling dizzy. After the text came in, my heart had been beating so fast. Add my sprint through the hospital and lack of food to the mix, so by the time I’d finally rested for a minute, my body just shut down. Emma put her hand on my shoulder.
“Are you okay?” she asked. “You look pale.”
“I’m okay,” I replied, but began sliding down the wall nonetheless.
“Someone get a chair,” Emma called out, still gripping my shoulder. Quinn came to my side and kept me from falling to the floor. My dad slipped the chair under me and I sank down into it. Once I was sitting, Emma took my pulse. “It’s low. If you don’t start feeling better, you’re going to have to lie on the floor and put your feet up.”
“Just give me a second,” I spat at her, throwing my hand up rudely in her face. She blinked her surprise, but instead of insulting me back or stomping off in a huff, Emma ignored my insolence and stayed firmly by my side. Slowly, my head stopped spinning.
She took my pulse again and patted my shoulder. “It’s a little better now. Just relax a few more minutes. I think you’re a little shocked. Your eyes are all cray-cray,” she smiled, teasing me.
I took a couple more deep breaths and said, “Thanks. Sorry for biting your head off.”
“It’s okay.”
Quinn brought a chair over for Emma, and she and I sat next to each other in the hall of the hospital, our heads leaning against the wall, just staring off into space.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“For what?”
Silence. I turned to look at my sister. She was staring straight ahead.
“You got a raw deal, Kyle.”
“Huh?”
“After the kidnapping… you know what I’m talking about.” Emma’s voice cracked.
“Oh,” I quickly looked away. Why did she have to bring that up now? Hadn’t I already done enough sharing with Jake last night?
“I didn’t know how to help you… and Mom and Dad, they were, well… you know. I guess I just want you to know I’m sorry, for everything.”
“I don’t blame you, Em.”
She turned her head and our eyes met. The tears in hers told me she didn’t quite believe me. I reached over and grabbed her hand. She smiled weakly and then sighed so heavily I wondered how long that breath had been trapped inside her body before making such a dramatic exit.
“We’re all screwed up, aren’t we?” I asked.
She laughed, but it was a bitter sound. “Oh, Kyle, you have no idea.”
I’d meant it in a general way and was surprised at my sister’s reaction to the question. She’d always seemed so in control and focused. After the kidnapping, it was Emma who’d basically been forced to take over the parenting duties for Grace and Quinn and to make the dinners and run the household. Holy shit. I’d never really given it a second thought before, but now that I considered it more carefully, that had been a lot of damn responsibility dumped on her shoulders at sixteen years of age. I glanced at Grace, who was a year younger now than Emma had been when it all went down. She seemed so young. I couldn’t imagine her taking on the jobs that Emma had. All of a sudden, I saw my sister in a different light. I’d always just assumed she’d escaped the curse that seemed to follow Keith, Jake and me, but now I wasn’t so sure. Was her Little Miss Perfect act all a façade? Was Emma just as damaged as the rest of us?
* * *
Jake improved hour to hour, and by nightfall his speech was back, although at times he sounded like a drunken soldier. It helped that Casey was there, babbling away. Slow and sluggish at first, Jake rapidly improved, probably because he was forced to keep up with his girlfriend’s endless declarations of undying love. The doctors were in and out doing random tests, and they were amazed by the speed of his recovery. He still had a long way to go, especially with his knee, but it was clear that Jake had dodged a very dangerous bullet.
My parents, Casey, and I stayed by Jake’s side all night. Every time he’d fall asleep, panic would grip us all. Would he open his eyes again? Was it all a dream? But a few hours later, he’d awaken feeling even better than before. Slowly but surely, the tension eased as we realized that Jake was going to be okay.
