“Ariana Grandebeforeorafterthe doughnut-licking scandal?” Cooper asked in alarm.
“After,” I admitted, cringing in embarrassment.
“Oh, crap.” He got up and ran from the room.
“Where are you going?” I called after him.
“I’ve got to delete my Twitter page.”
* * *
Iwent backto work a week after returning home. My focus was different now. Instead of just going about my day as normal, I was actively preparing for my departure. First on my list was hiring my replacement, and second was getting some new carpeting and windows at our house. Knowing that I had won at least some prize money for coming in the top three on the show, I felt comfortable using what savings I had to pay for home improvements. Left to my father, such repairs would never happen.
I thought about Kyle often during this time, wondering where he was and how he was doing. After giving Dale my number to pass on to him, I had hoped for a call, but as the weeks turned to months, I knew I needed to face the facts. Kyle was gone, and I had to move on for my own good.
A couple weeks after returning home, not only was my earlier television interview aired but also the county paper ran an article about the “Hometown Girl” competing on a popular reality show. In an area where very little changed from year to year, news like this spread quickly and created excitement. Suddenly, I was thrust into the spotlight. Not only was I asked to make appearances at local functions but potential suitors began showing up at my door. Most were the same guys that I’d known forever, but a few were new to me – men from neighboring towns interested in piggybacking on my fifteen minutes of fame. For the briefest moment in time, Mackenzie Williams was the hottest piece of pie in the county, and damned if I wasn’t enjoying my newfound celebrity.
Although I went on a few dates during this time, no guy stood out to me. I caught myself comparing them to Kyle, and that was a big mistake because there just was no comparison. It became clear to me that I’d fallen in love during my time on the show, and getting over Kyle was going to take time. Of course, my obsession with all things McKallister probably slowed my progress. Interestingly enough, Kyle had no presence on the Internet. What guy his age didn’t at least have a Twitter or Instagram page? So, in hopes of getting some idea of where Kyle was, I took to stalking Jake on social media. I figured out his tour schedule and followed along his route through Europe. I also read everything I could find about Jake and his kidnapping, fixated on any mention of Kyle, no matter how miniscule. I knew it was creepy behavior, but it was the one thing that made me feel closer to him.
Seeing him again for the final taping was the only ray of hope for my broken heart. I went through all the scenarios in my head of how that evening could play out, even writing down and memorizing what I wanted to say to him in hopes that I wouldn’t totally choke when we came face to face. In my little fantasy world, Kyle forgave me and we lived happily ever after. The reality, I was sure, would not be as kind.
35
Kyle: A Brother’s Bond
We arrived backin Los Angeles the last week of September into the middle of a heat wave. The Santa Ana winds were whipping up fires all over the southland. Typically I stayed at Jake’s place during the off months of touring, but he’d made it pretty clear to me that my presence was no longer required, or even wanted for that matter. I got it. He was in love with Casey and wanted time alone with her, but at the same time, I didn’t want to move out of my comfortable digs, either. I tried to negotiate an acceptable compromise, but Jake was having none of it. So like the big boy I was, I had my mommy come pick me up and take me home. Damn, I needed to get a place of my own, and soon.
Two days after arriving home, I was packing again, only this time to evacuate. A fire that had been raging for days shifted course and roared over the mountains, coming dangerously close to our place. While my mom and sisters packed the valuables, Dad, Keith, Quinn, and I cut brush around the perimeter of the property and hosed down the roof as the fire barreled toward our neighborhood. Firefighters were hosing down the hills around our house as helicopters were dropping water and retardant. Just as evacuation orders had been issued for our area, the winds shifted suddenly, the fire changed course, and off it went to torment another community. The entire time we were preparing for the worst, I couldn’t get Kenzie’s accusation out of my head. Her damn water might actually have just saved my mansion.
The first episode ofMaroonedaired the following week, and I went to Jake’s to watch. I figured there’d be less of a chance of being heckled and tormented at his place than at home. Of course, I hadn’t counted on Casey and her wicked sense of humor. She found something embarrassing to comment on every time I was in the shot. It was a cringe-worthy experience seeing myself on television for the first time and even more appalling to relive my stupid antics. It struck me how much I’d changed as a person since stepping off the boat onto the island. I felt stronger and more mature, and I credited the people I’d been with for my growth.
I re-experienced every minute of my time on the show with Dale as my virtual wingman. Texting back and forth obsessively, we speculated on which scenes would air and marveled at what was happening on the other tribe. That was a part of the story we’d never seen. After each show, Dale would remind me to contact Kenzie, and I would always conveniently ignore him.
“Seriously, Kyle, I can’t picture Kenzie betraying you,” Jake said.
“Whaaat?” Casey gasped.
“Jake, what part of ‘You can’t talk about the show’ did you not understand?”
“She betrays you?” Casey whispers, her face shrouded in intrigue. “I promise I won’t tell.”
“No offense, Casey, but you don’t look like you can keep a secret.”
“Me? Are you kidding? I am the most trustworthy person you’ll ever meet. Tell him, Jake,” she said, smacking him in the leg.
“She’s very trustworthy. Trust me,” Jake repeated robotically, then grabbed Casey around the waist and pulled her on top of him. She screamed, laughing as she was jolted back. “Just tell her. She’ll never stop. Will you?”
“Never!” she screeched.
I fake-barfed at their playfulness. There was nothing worse than a happy couple when you yourself were miserable. Not that I was necessarily miserable, but I was still angry and resentful. Watching Kenzie on television had brought back memories of the good times we’d shared, and that, in turn, was making it more difficult to stay mad.
I didn’t tell Casey why I was pissed at Kenzie until the fifth episode. She saw something in Kenzie’s reaction to me that caught her off guard.
“She’s in love with you,” Casey stated, matter-of-factly.
“What?” I asked, although I’d heard exactly what she’d said.
“What happened to make her betray you? From what I can tell, her feelings for you are genuine.”
