“Yeah, you can. You’re just not trying.”
She was right. At first I wasn’t doing it on purpose. I mean, those five sequential letters in her name were tough to get a handle on. But the more annoyed she got with my mistakes, the more I enjoyed poking the bear.
“So let me ask you this. If I was some random American dude that you met at the concert, would you still want to hang out with me?”
Dundee flashed me a dubious look, and to her credit, actually seemed somewhat apologetic. “I mean, you’re not the worst guy here.”
That wasn’t the compliment I’d been fishing for. Glancing around the room at some of our roadies, I was, at least, comforted by the knowledge that there were shoddier looking guys in here than me. Still, her words bothered me. “What exactly are you thinking is going to happen here tonight?”
She remained silent for a moment, perhaps contemplating her response. “I’d be willing to do a three-way.”
Trying to remain cool in the face of great confoundment, I managed to reply, “And by three-way you’re meaning, you, me, and that brunette over there?”
Her eyes followed in the direction I pointed, but then zeroed back in on mine. “I think you know what I mean.”
Once the shock wore off, I actually laughed in her face. She didn’t care for that, but I couldn’t help myself. Just the thought of it cracked me up. I had half a mind to bring her back to the bus just so I could see Jake’s horrified reaction.
“Just take me to him, Kale,” she sighed, deliberately mispronouncing my name. Clearly she’d had enough of my antics. “I’ll take care of the rest.”
Maybe it was my newfound self-awareness, or the shock of the offer, or maybe I’d just finally hit my breaking point; whatever it was, that was the moment I decided I no longer wanted to be the means to an end. It had taken surviving on my own to open my eyes to what I’d been allowing to happen for so long. I was not a goddamn runner-up. I didn’t blame Jake, or Dunlop, or any of the other women who’d used me as a stepping-stone. I blamed myself. Suddenly it became clear that I was a master at self-sabotage. How could I ever become my own person if I was hiding behind a superstar? And why had I spent so much damn time being okay with this shit?
“You know what, Dunbar, thanks for the enticing offer, but I think I’ll pass.”
* * *
Things changed after that day. I asked Jake for a real job on the security crew. He never asked why, but he immediately turned me over to Vadim, and I was put to work. There were days that being employed really sucked and I would have preferred to go back to the bus and play video games all day long, but I stuck with it because I knew if I wanted to be taken seriously that I needed to stop acting like a teenaged mooch. For the first time in my life, I was actually making an honest day’s pay, and with it came a renewed sense of pride.
In addition to the job, I stopped courting the Jake-obsessed ladies. They weren’t here for me, and I wasn’t playing the game anymore. Just because Icouldhave them didn’t mean I should. Jake had found a balance with life on the road, even before meeting Casey, and I was determined to have the same self-control.
And finally, I got serious about working out - something I’d always hated. Instead of my usual approach of lifting weights for three minutes and then going off to take a nap, now I worked out with Jake for at least an hour every day. Not only was my body changing and getting stronger, but also Jake and I had a lot of time to talk. We still avoided the heavy issues, but he was more open with me than he’d been in years. I noticed a difference in the way Jake treated me, too. It was definitely with more respect. The fact that I was trying to improve myself was not lost on him. He seemed proud of the changes I’d made, and that, in turn, filled me with a renewed sense of purpose. I liked this new Kyle a whole lot better than the old, and apparently so did Jake.
I thought a lot about the island and my friends, and although I hadn’t forgiven Kenzie, I still missed her way more than I wanted to admit. The show would be airing the season premier in the States the week after we arrived home from tour, and I’d have been lying if I said I wasn’t worried about how I would be portrayed. A positive edit could make or break a person. Would I be seen as some playboy, leading on the innocent American sweetheart? Grace’s words played over and over in my mind. I really hoped I wasn’t about to sully the McKallister name, because honestly, I wasn’t sure how much more it could take.
34
Kenzie: Tale of the Triplets
“You okay?” Dad asked.
With my head cupped in my hands, I stared out the window as rain hammered the back porch and drained into pools of water on the oversaturated lawn.
“It’s such a waste,” I moaned.
“What’s a waste?”
“The rain. We get so much, and they don’t get any in the Southern California.”
“They don’t need it. They just steal ours.”
Ah ha! That’s where I got my negative attitudes toward our southern brothers. I frowned at my father.
“But is it really stealing if we have so much we can’t use it all?”
My dad considered my question for a moment, and then apparently coming up with no good explanation, turned his uncertainty to frustration. “I don’t know, Mackenzie, and honestly, I really don’t care.”
“I once accused Kyle of stealing our water to fill his swimming pool.”
My dad gaped at me in surprise. “Why in the hell would you do that?”
