I kissed him quiet while my hand worked him through the fabric. Let him get used to the sensation. Let him rock against my palm and learn the rhythm.
When he was gasping and shaking, I pulled my hand away. Julian made a sound of protest.
"Patience." I kissed his neck. "Trust me."
I slid my hand inside his pajama pants. Found him hot and hard and already leaking. The moment I wrapped my hand around him, Julian's head fell back with a broken moan.
"Look at me," I commanded.
His eyes opened. Met mine. Dark and desperate and full of trust.
"That's it. Let me see you."
I stroked him slowly. Learning what he liked. How much pressure. What rhythm made him gasp. He was responsive and honest and completely uninhibited in a way that made me want to devour him.
"Elio—I'm—I can't—"
"You can. Just feel it. Let go."
"I've never—not like this—"
"I know. First time someone else has touched you. First time you haven't had to hide. Just let yourself feel it, Julian. I've got you."
I increased the pace. Added a twist to my wrist that made Julian cry out. His hands scrabbled against my shoulders. Trying to ground himself. Trying to process sensation he'd never experienced before.
"That's it. You're so responsive. So perfect. Let me see you come apart."
"Elio—please—I need—"
"I know what you need."
I kissed him while my hand worked faster. Swallowed his moans and gasps and desperate sounds. Felt him get closer. Felt his whole body tense.
"Let go," I whispered against his lips. "Come for me, Julian."
He shattered.
Came with my name on his lips and his body arching and his hands clutching me like I was the only solid thing in his world.I worked him through it. Gentled my touch as he came down. Kissed him soft and sweet while he trembled and gasped.
When he finally opened his eyes, he looked dazed. Overwhelmed. Beautiful.
"I didn't know it could be like that."
"Because you've been controlling yourself your whole life. Denying yourself pleasure because you were saving it for someone who didn't deserve it." I kissed him gently. "You deserved better than that."
Julian buried his face in my neck. I felt dampness against my skin. Realized he was crying.
"Hey." I pulled back to look at him. "Julian, what's wrong?"
"Nothing. Everything's right. I just—" He wiped at his eyes. "I've spent so long being told I wasn't allowed to want things. That my body belonged to someone else. That pleasure was something I'd have to earn by submitting. And you just—you made me feel like I mattered. Like I deserved to feel good."
Something cracked in my chest. All the guilt and fear and self-recrimination about taking advantage of someone inexperienced crumbled under the weight of Julian's honesty.
"You do deserve it. All of it. And anyone who told you otherwise was wrong."
I held him while he composed himself. Let him press his face against my neck and breathe. Let him take the time he needed to process.
When he finally pulled back, his eyes were red but clear.
