It wasn't a question.
"No."
"You're a terrible liar when it comes to personal matters." Sandro leaned back in his chair. "What happened?"
I could've denied it. Should've denied it. Instead I heard myself say: "I kissed him."
Sandro was quiet for a long moment.
"I see."
"It was a mistake."
"Was it?"
"Yes. He's too young. Too vulnerable. Under my protection. I had no business touching him."
"But you did anyway."
"Yes."
"And how did he respond?"
I thought about Julian kissing back with such eagerness. About the way he'd gripped my shirt like he was afraid I'd pull away. About him sayingI'm choosing youwith complete certainty.
"He wants this. Wants me. Says he doesn't care about the age gap or the power dynamics or any of the very good reasons this is a terrible idea."
"And what do you want?"
The honest answer was dangerous. But Sandro deserved honesty. We'd known each other too long for anything else.
"I want him. More than I should. More than is smart or appropriate or safe." I met Sandro's eyes. "But wanting him doesn't make it right. He's inexperienced. That was his first kiss.His first anything. I can't be the person who takes advantage of that."
"Are you taking advantage? Or is he making an informed choice?"
"He's twenty-one. How informed can his choices be?"
"He's old enough to betray his father. Old enough to help us strategize a war. Old enough to understand exactly what he's walked into and choose to stay anyway." Sandro's voice was matter-of-fact. "You're not his father, Elio. You're not Dante. You're not someone controlling him or forcing him into something he doesn't want. If he's choosing you, that's his decision to make."
"What if I hurt him?"
"What if you don't?"
I didn't have an answer for that.
Sandro stood and moved to the window. Looked out at the city.
"I've watched you build walls for years. Seen you keep everyone at arm's length because you're afraid of losing control. Afraid of becoming the kind of person your stepfather was." He turned back to me. "But Julian's not making you lose control. He's making you feel things you've been avoiding. There's a difference."
"It's still inappropriate. The power dynamic—"
"Can be managed. Matteo managed it with Stefan. You helped him figure out how." Sandro's expression softened slightly. "I'm not saying rush into this. I'm saying don't run from it just because it scares you. Julian deserves better than that. And so do you."
I left Sandro's office with more questions than answers.
***
That night I didn't go to Julian's room.
