"Yes, you are." Another step. Close enough now that I could smell the soap from his shower. "You're afraid of wanting something you think you shouldn't have. Someone you think you shouldn't want."
"Julian—"
"Am I wrong?"
He wasn't. He was completely, devastatingly right.
I wanted him. Had wanted him since he'd walked into my office soaking wet and desperate, looking at me with dark eyes that saw too much. The want had only grown stronger as I'd gotten to know him. Watched him prove himself clever and brave and far more resilient than anyone had expected.
But wanting him didn't make it right. Didn't make it appropriate. Didn't make it safe.
"Stop," I said.
"What happens if I don't?"
He took one more step. Close enough to touch now. Close enough that I could see the pulse beating in his throat. Close enough that I could feel the heat radiating from his body.
Close enough to destroy every boundary I'd been desperately trying to maintain.
My control snapped.
I closed the distance between us and kissed him.
It was a mistake. I knew it was a mistake even as I did it. But I couldn't stop myself.
Julian responded immediately. Kissed back like he'd been waiting for this. Like he'd been hoping I'd break first.
His hands came up to grip my shirt. Pulled me closer. His mouth opened under mine—eager, enthusiastic, completely without finesse.
And that's when I realized.
This was Julian's first kiss.
Not just his first kiss with me. His first kiss ever.
The realization hit like cold water.
Julian was twenty-one and completely inexperienced. Had never been in a relationship. Had never even kissed someone before this moment.
And I was kissing him in a hallway at Inferno like I had any right to be his first anything.
I pulled away. Put immediate distance between us.
Julian looked dazed. His lips were swollen. His breathing was unsteady. He touched his mouth like he couldn't quite believe what had just happened.
"That was—" he started.
"A mistake." My voice came out rough. "This can't happen."
"Why not?"
"Because you're twenty-one and under my protection and this is completely inappropriate. Because I'm responsible for your safety and I can't be the person who takes advantage of you. Because that was your first kiss and you deserve better than having it happen in a hallway with someone fourteen years older than you who should know better."
Julian's expression shifted. Surprise flickered across his face.
"How did you know that was my first kiss?"
"I could tell. The enthusiasm. The lack of—" I stopped myself. "It doesn't matter. What matters is this can't happen again."
