"Then I'll visit every week. I'll write every day. I'll wait however long it takes." His voice was firm. "We've talked about this. You know what my answer is."
"I'm asking you to reconsider." I grabbed his hands. "You're twenty-three. You have your entire life ahead of you. You could—"
"Could what? Find someone else? Move on? Build a life without you?" Stefan's eyes were fierce. "I don't want that. I want you. Even if you're in prison. Even if it takes decades. Even if—"
"Stop." I pulled my hands away. Stood up. Started pacing. "You can't sacrifice your twenties and thirties visiting federal prison. You can't put your life on hold for me."
"I'm not putting my life on hold. I'm choosing where to invest it." Stefan stood too. "Matteo, what do you want me to say? That I'll leave? That I'll move on? That I'll find someone safer?"
"Yes. That's exactly what I want you to say."
"Well, I'm not saying it." He moved toward me. "Because it would be a lie. I'm not leaving. I'm not moving on. I'm staying right here. With you. For however long this takes."
"Even if it takes twenty years?"
"Even then."
"You're insane."
"Probably. But I'm your insane." He grabbed my shirt. "Stop trying to push me away to protect me. I'm making this choice with full awareness of what it costs. Respect that."
We stared at each other.
"I'm scared," I admitted. "Terrified. Of losing you. Of losing decades. Of asking you to sacrifice your life waiting for me."
"I'm scared too." His voice was softer now. "I'm terrified of losing you to a verdict I can't control. But Matteo—pushing me away doesn't make this easier. It just means we both suffer alone instead of together."
He was right. I knew he was right.
But the thought of Stefan spending his twenties visiting federal prison, writing letters to an inmate, putting his life on hold for someone who might never get out—it destroyed me.
"Come here," Stefan said.
I did. Let him pull me close. Let myself break down in his arms.
"I'm so sorry," I said. "For dragging you into this. For making you watch me face life in prison. For—"
"Stop apologizing for things that aren't your fault." Stefan held me tighter. "You didn't drag me into anything. I chose this. I'm still choosing it. And if you go to prison, I'll still be choosing it every day for however long it takes."
We stood there holding each other while I tried to accept what he was offering. Decades of loyalty. Of waiting. Of sacrificing his future for the possibility of mine.
It was too much. More than I deserved. More than anyone should give.
But I was selfish enough to want it anyway.
"I love you," I whispered.
"I love you too. So stop trying to leave me before the verdict even comes in."
"Okay." I pulled back to look at him. "Okay. But Stefan—if I'm convicted, if they give me twenty years or life, I want you to promise me something."
"What?"
"Promise you'll live your actual life. Not just exist waiting for me. You'll work. You'll make friends. You'll do things that make you happy. Promise me you won't just... freeze in place waiting."
"I promise. As long as you promise you'll let me visit. You'll write back. You won't try to cut me off for my own good."
"I promise."
