"No," I said. "I don't regret it. But I feel guilty anyway. Like I'm supposed to feel worse about betraying my family than I actually do."
"That's because they were never really your family." Matteo pulled me up from the chair and into his arms. "They were the people you were born to. But family is supposed to care about you. Value you. See you as more than a tool."
"And you do? See me as more than a tool?"
"Stefan." His voice was rough. "You're the most important person in my life. More important than this club. More important than the trial. More important than anything." He tilted my face up. "If helping us makes you feel like you're betraying Giuseppe, stop. I don't need you to work on the books. I need you safe and whole and choosing this because you want to, not because you feel obligated."
"I do want to." The certainty surprised me. "I want to help. Want to use my skills for something meaningful. Want to prove I'm more than decorative." I held his gaze. "And if that meansactively working against my father's interests, then that's what I'm choosing. He betrayed the code first by cooperating with the FBI. I'm just making sure his enemies survive his betrayal."
"You're sure?"
"I'm sure." I kissed him. "I'm all in, Matteo. On your side. Against my father. Helping the Vitales however I can. This is my choice. My decision. And I'm making it with full awareness of what it means."
Something fierce and possessive flared in his eyes. "I love you."
"I love you too. Even though loving you means burning every bridge I had left."
"Those bridges were already on fire. You're just watching them collapse."
He was right. But the guilt still sat heavy in my chest.
***
Two weeks later, Emilio found me in my office.
I'd seen Sandro's partner around the club but we'd never really talked. He was usually with Sandro or working on trial preparation or handling his own cases. But today he appeared in my doorway holding two cups of coffee.
"Mind if I come in?" he asked.
"Of course not."
He handed me one of the coffees and sat across from my desk. For a moment, we just looked at each other.
"Sandro says you're doing good work," Emilio said finally. "Finding deductions. Improving efficiency. Making the legitimate businesses actually profitable instead of just money-laundering fronts."
"I'm trying to be useful."
"You are useful. That's not why I'm here." He took a sip of coffee. "I wanted to see how you're doing. Really doing. Not the performance for Sandro or Matteo."
"Why do you care?"
"Because I've been where you are." His voice was gentle. "Falling for someone I was supposed to be against. Choosing them over my principles. Watching myself become complicit in things I never thought I'd accept." He met my eyes. "It's isolating. Confusing. Hard to know if you're making the right choice or just rationalizing your way into something unhealthy."
The understanding in his voice made my chest tight.
"How did you know?" I asked. "That choosing Sandro was right instead of just... convenient or trauma or whatever?"
"I didn't. Not for a long time." Emilio smiled slightly. "I second-guessed myself constantly. Wondered if I was being manipulated. If I was throwing away my integrity for good sex and the illusion of being valued." He paused. "But eventually I realized that the choice itself mattered more than the reasoning. I was choosing Sandro. Every day. Despite the complications and the moral compromises and the fact that it probably made me a terrible person by conventional standards."
"Do you regret it?"
"No. Not even for a second." He leaned forward. "But Stefan—I want you to know that having doubts doesn't mean you're making the wrong choice. It means you're being honest about how complicated this is. Don't let anyone—including yourself—tell you this should be simple or that you should feel certain all the time."
"Matteo needs me to be certain."
"Matteo needs you to be honest." Emilio's voice was firm. "If you're scared or guilty or confused, tell him. He can handle your uncertainty better than he can handle you pretending to be fine when you're not."
"Speaking from experience?"
